Between You, Me, and the Fence Post

Scrabble Gift!

2012-01-24T12:18:00.006-05:00

So, I was way super excited to show you this a couple of days before Christmas, but I couldn't, because it was a gift for my oldest. Then Christmas and life happened, and it got put on the back burner, but today I am in "finish things I started mode", so here it is, in all my sad little camera's glory!

And he loved it! At least, his reaction was totally everything I hoped for, it was better than the Nerf gun! (Which was pretty sweet, too!) So either he has perfected faking it, or he loved it... and since he LOVES Scrabble, is notorious for correcting spelling like his mom, every word perfectly describes him, and a week earlier announced that he wanted to make something with these veryboards (old pallets, cut and sanded just to smooth out), I'm going with he loved it!

I used wood tiles from A.C. Moore, I couldn't bring myself to use actual Scrabble tiles, we only have one board, and it's complete. I did consider buying a basic version, but they were over $8, I spent less then that, even though I bought 2 bags of tiles. I did go through and make sure I had the right number of each letter for the game before I glued them down, as I am a bit ~~anal~~ obnoxious that way! And I expect, someday, when he's bored enough, he will add up the potential points scored. Because he is my boy!

Interesting side note, when I asked my husband a few weeks ago for old pallets, he hemmed and hawed about not having very many, etc. Only days later, he mentioned something he could do with pallets, and said, "Oh yeah, and we have a ton of those." Yeah, he regretted that!

So, here you are, one of my homemade gifts this year. I DON'T sew!

And Mom, if you read this, I am still working on your sign... it should be ready for Spring!

Cleaning/Organizing Time!!

2012-01-16T17:10:00.001-05:00

So, I've decided after spending so much time on Pinterest looking and gathering ideas, and then checking out the sources of pictures and finding all of these blogs with organizing challenges, I've decided to jump on the bandwagon. But you have to come, too. Am I issuing a challenge? No, I'm just noting that I hate cleaning and the only way to inspire me to clean up my own act is if I get to take pictures, and write about it, in the dreamy hope that someone out in blogland will send me some comment love, therefore bolstering and encouraging me to do a little more! Yeah, you know who you are!

So I give the most credit to AskAnnaMoseley.com, she cleans and organizes in a way that speaks to me, like I can get it, and has ideas I've not heard before. Like cleaning your glass window in your oven door with baking soda. I got up to do it, and it wasn't until I opened my oven, baking soda paste in hand, when I realized I DON'T HAVE AN OVEN WINDOW!!!!

Oven door Before

But I wasn't about to let that baking soda paste go to waste, so I spread it on the oven door. Liberally. 20 minutes later I could see my paste was an interesting shade of brown. There was more grime than Anna's must have had, I should have used vinegar as I scrubbed it off, but I hadn't read all the way to the end of the comments, where other people mentioned needing more time, vinegar, or a second coat. I gave up early, having finished my decided interim project of cleaning my spice rack.

Oven door after the baking soda treatment, trust me, it's better!

These little spots look a bit orange in the picture, but they look like holes in real life.

Then obviously I felt the need to address inside the oven. Problem is, when I went to remove that crusty black stuff, you know, the dried flaky stuff, it revealed these:

I'm thinking I'll get one of those big aluminum drip pans that you put in the bottom of the oven. Our stove was a hand-me-down from a relative when we bought the house 12 years ago. Now, on a more pleasant note, while the 15 minutes or so passed did I twiddle my thumbs? Oh no, I cleaned up my spice rack! I still love it, Bill built it for me more than 12 years ago, maybe even 15. It's to my specifications, and has always been just right, the height of the shelves and the overall size, I don't use as many spices as some people. So, I began by removing the peculiar green thing, I don't know what it is, maybe an octopus or spider? It was stretchy, filthy, and clearly hadn't been missed, so I tossed it. And then I followed Anna's advice:

1. Clear it off.

2: Clean it.

3. Group things as you put

them back (at which point

you also chuck what you no

longer need, aka expired

or never used items)

In a stoke of genius, though, I realized I shouldn't toss the spice containers, but instead wash them and hang onto them for a bit while I sort and organize other things. This worked out well, because a little while later as I cleaned out my junk drawer I put them to good use. I put the buttons I removed off of the old white dress shirts I just threw out into one of the tiny containers. I have 5 boys and a husband, and attending church in white shirts every week means lots of button issues, I am hanging on to these!

Voila! Cute, orderly, and clean. Half empty, yes, but I will buy new spices as needed and there will be plenty of room to put them. I also cleaned my eat chicken cow, glad the dust came off her little bow on her tail, or I was considering letting her go. The candles that hung on the other side were cruddy, and I didn't really like them, so I let them go.

Tile set

2011-10-27T15:15:00.000-04:00

So, I thought I should show you my amazing blunder, and perhaps I could render a little sympathy. You see, I did this amazing first time tile job (if I do say so myself), but then I was foolish and allowed a whole lot of tile set dry onto the tiles... Well, I had a reason at the time. You see, those itty bitty tiles are 2"x 2" and 2"x4", and when you try to wash them they wiggle around.

but if you don't wipe them off for ~~days~~ weeks it gets REALLY solid. I was in denial, I regularly sat and looked at it, thinking "It shouldn't be too bad."

Riiiight.

After about 5 minutes of scrubbing, I remembered that this little pasty stuff is holding great big heavy pieces of tile on the wall in mid air essentially. It's really strong. The picture shows the side I've done on the right, the left side... well let's just say I'm righthanded. *sigh*

My New Entertainment Center

2011-10-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

So, I wanted a new entertainment center to fit perfectly under my new TV (which isn't really new anymore, so as to give you an idea of how long I've been wanting one. But I don't have money for one (did I mention there's a new TV?) and then I found pinterest.com! There I got the idea of reusing old fiberboard furniture, but it took me awhile to figure out I had just what I needed already. So, drumroll please...

What do you get when you take one small bookcase,

plus one shoe shelf thing,

plus another small bookshelf thing?

Well, after you throw on a left over piece of MDF, you have a new entertainment center!

I'll post more pictures after it's painted... but knowing me I wouldn't hold your breath for the finished product!!

And all it took was a best friend with a nail gun, a two year old, 2 homeschooling children with no focus, a circular saw, and less than 2 hours!

Return With Honor

2011-10-20T13:00:00.000-04:00

Love, love, LOVE how this came out! I put it over my front door, so my children (and husband and I) see it when we go out!

For those in the trenches...

2011-08-11T21:35:00.003-04:00

So, I haven't blogged in a while, but I've been thinking a lot about this and I need to get it out there.

I read this book on WWI this summer. I never really understood it before, my schooling always focused on Hitler and WWII. But in a nutshell, Germany and France were fighting over a piece of land for centuries, which at this point France held, and was fortified at its German border. Germany decided to take it, again, but approach through Belgium where there was less fortifications. Britain joined the fight, but the 2 Allies basically sent people to die over the no man's land against a well entrenched German army for years. Then, they started running out of men.

France was desperate. They were losing the war, the war they felt was justified because they were defending their homeland. They were fighting the battles as nobly as they could. Due to extensive circumstance, America showed up, with fresh people, a new resource and new plans of attack, and the war was won.

Why do I tell you this?

It makes me think of our youth. The young people, of my faith and others, who are out there, in the trenches every day, fighting the valiant battle. They feel they are running out of manpower, they feel they are losing the war because they struggle through the battles, and even lose some of their good buddies along the way.

But even when you hit the point of despair, America is coming. There are more of you than you know, there are angels all around you, to buoy you up, you are on the Lord's side, which is the side who will win the war, we have been promised. Just as the people on Earth when the Savior was born began to wonder if the sign would ever come, you must hold to the faith, because the war will end, and we will win!! I love you, the Lord loves you, hang in there!

So, when you leave your blog for four months...

2010-08-20T19:47:00.002-04:00

Blogger invents new templates. And then it changes around the setup page. And THEN you remember it's three email addresses behind, and it's trying to start a whole new blog for your whole new email address. And then you find one lonely little comment waiting to be moderated (Sorry Sarah!). And then you wonder if anyone will ever read it. And then you debate putting it on facebook, because you write about your kids on here, and maybe they don't want you linking to their baby pictures to all of the kids at school. BTW, I am friends with LOADS of kids from school on fb, Dustin thinks it's so I can win at the Great Friend Race, but really I know a year from now those kids won't friend me, and I hope to keep tabs on things. There is a reason my kids think I know everything!!

Did I mention my husband and I are both friends with the chief of police as well?

So, what to talk about. I was bored, put it as my fb status, and was reminded that I could blog. That just means I could bore all of you two ~~million~~ (hey, I remember how!) people right along with me! I could tell you about:

-Thomas's foot fetish, we discovered it months ago.
-All the things he puts in his mouth.
-The occasional thing we manage to get back OUT of his mouth.
-Dustin doing soccer doubles.
-HOLY COW MY KID IS A FRESHMAN!!!!!)!
-Zachary driving me crazy looking for reasons to complain.
-Michael begging me for a haircut. Oh, maybe THAT'S what I should be doing, *I feel sheepish*
-Brian announced at his doctor appointment today he hates school. I had no idea.
-Kids all have colds. Except Z, he's just whiny.
-4 boys got shots this week, wanna guess who lucked out (Nicki can't play this game)?
-One has a rash, little spots that showed up this evening, I am hoping viral non-chicken pox spots.
-It's 8 PM and my husband is STILL not home from work.
-He told his boss he needed a raise if he was going to have to babysit coworkers. His boss said he wouldn't ask him to babysit coworkers anymore.
-Our house is supposed to be under renovations.
-The federal government employee in charge of the paperwork is the quintessential federal government employee.
-Michael will graduate COLLEGE before we renovate.
-I haven't eaten because I'm waiting for my husband. I just remembered I told him he should stop and get something. Maybe I will go eat. Good boredom buster!

Any requests for elaborating?

Observations from an ordinary day...

2010-05-12T14:00:00.003-04:00

If you need inspiration to clean your floors, I have it. He's 7 1/2 months old, very cute, and works for free. When he's done here I could bring him to your house, you will want to put away everything he tries to put in his mouth, and THAT is EVERYTHING!!!!

The fourth boy is now the first to get stitches AND a black eye. How long before the broken bone? Wanna start a betting pool on which bone?

The oldest takes on such massive mental projects for his age and is so responsible. I am impressed, and now feel like I WANT to bail him out when he loses something, instead of like I HAVE to. It's amazing.

Some personalities need the motivation of an audience to pull out their best performance. They can swallow the pain if there is an audience when hit by a ball. They will take the plunge in swim class, if there is an audience to watch. Then he can apply it to when the audience is gone.

Some of the time, my boy (the only one left to brag about) is able to point out the things clearly and concisely that he tried to avoid at first to spare my feelings. When did he get so good at dealing with other people?

When did they get so old?

How do I slow this down?

I can't? Then how do I make it all last?

Refrigerators

2010-04-13T08:49:00.004-04:00

So, yesterday I cleaned my fridge. The stars aligned Sunday evening and my teenager was home with the garbage near full and loading the dishwasher. So I emptied the science projects, put their containers right in the dishwasher which was run, and then he took out the trash.

So, Monday morning before I bought groceries I cleaned my fridge. And now it looks like this.

But my abnormal brain is terrible at figuring out the "right" place to put things. The kitchen cupboards prove it. And so, dear reader, I would LOVE to have your thoughts on where you keep something in your fridge. I said something hoping you could pick any old thing. Please don't say butter, I keep my butter in the butter dish, and at least one gallon of milk on the door. Any other ideas?

When it rains it pours...

2010-04-05T15:18:00.002-04:00

First of all, I am not looking for sympathy. I don't need any I'm so sorrys anymore than I need I told you sos. What I do need is an opportunity to vent. And it's my blog, what better place to let it all out, right?

So we had a baby. He is wonderful, a beautiful blessing that is a prime example of how Heavenly Father's plan is so much better than ours.

We align our finances in an aggressive plan to pay off a large amount of debt in a manner of a few years.

Then we decide to add on to our house because our situation severely lacks order and sanity. After months of preparation, He reveals that it is a bad idea. So instead we pay off our van. Again, we trust His wisdom is inspired, and His vision is better than ours. We see it as a teaching moment to all of our children, about the need to listen to the whisperings of the Spirit.

We learn about a way that we can maybe get a bigger home for less money through an agency. We believe that all things align just so and decide it is a process we are to go through at least to gain knowledge. I have stated since before we found this home that when we bought a home it would need to be the one I could die in, because I never wanted to pack my crap up and haul it anywhere else. I loathe moving.

So we begin to open our minds to the ideas of moving or hiring out to have a major renovation done, one that still requires packing. The paperwork is begun, and the day arrives that we are to pay a processing fee.

But wait. That paid off van? Oh yeah, you know where this is going. The transmission quits. And I mean fried. We are talking a minimum $2,000 to fix, when it blue books for $2400.

So, please dear reader, do as I have done for several days now, and wrap your mind around this. We own a five passenger Ranger pickup truck. With 2 doors and a bench seat and two little jump seats in the back. We have a 13 year old who is 5' 3" or so, an almost twelve year old pushing 5', a 9 year old, a 4 year old, and a little baby in a honking infant car seat.

Yeah.

And so here I sit, typing out my problems to you. Can you solve them? Of course not, you can't buy me a van any more than I can buy me a van. Unless I get a loan, which the Credit Union will love and I'm sure it will impress the mortgage people too, never mind the fact that we were going to use the $ saved from payments to do small repairs in case we try to sell. HAH!

In the mean time I not only can't take all my children anywhere, but can't reasonably take the oldest and the youngest at the same time. Did I mention the driver's seat on the truck doesn't move forward? So you have to unbuckle the baby to get the oldest in and out, because Heaven knows he doesn't fit between me and it.

But I heard a couple of talks during general conference, only a couple mind you, but one touched my heart. A man told how his father passed when he was a child, leaving his mother alone to raise 4 small children. And she gave advice that will suit us all in this life. The end will be better than the beginning.

As we face our trials head on, we are often overwhelmed by the enormity of what lies ahead. But we must remember that all is for our good, and the end of the trial, when the lesson is learned and the iron has been purified by the fire, will be better than the beginning.

We often speak in my church about following the Spirit being like taking a step into a dark room, not knowing where the floor is but having faith there will be one. I don't know what the next holds, but I do know it will hold us up. We will eat, we will drink, we will love each other, and have our needs met. Where, how and when? Predicting that these days is not my job. I'm to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and smile.

Back from Hiatus?

2010-03-03T15:20:00.003-05:00

Maybe, maybe not. However, we are now, right this minute, going to post on the blog, only time will tell if it is the only post for some time.

Anyway, I thought perhaps you would like to see how cute and adorable my baby has become. And so, without further adieu, my son:

Not now mom, I'm busy.

Hey look, see my tongue?

Isn't it cute?

See, I like to play with my toys, and I like to stick out my tongue, because it is pointy and cute! And I am 5 and a half months old now! I'm BIG! Aren't you impressed?

A Message from Thomas

2009-11-19T14:52:00.005-05:00

Dear Person Who Reads Mommy's Blog,

Did you know it is hard to be the baby to four brothers? Take today, for example... I had to go all the way to Augusta to watch my big brother talk to people. Not even there an hour. It totally messed with my nap time, and I didn't even get to have Dustin hold me. I did get to see Pepere and Grammie though.

When it all gets too hard, though, mommy knows just what I need. A little time in my bubble, you might say. Nobody holding me, bouncing me, or restraining me in a car seat.

Ah yes, just me and the three bears on my mobile. Occasionally a brother shows up to wind up my bears for me, but other than that it's nice and quiet, and peaceful. Just what a baby needs after a long hard morning.

Love,

Thomas

My boys

2009-11-17T13:59:00.003-05:00

**Edited to add**
The dome will be used as a greenhouse.

My kids are amazing, and I have had one of them astound me yet again. Dustin and Erik are in Geometry together, and because the Middle School now has two math periods every day they are flying through the material at twice the speed. To deal with this, their teacher (who happens to be Erik's dad) opted to supplement the Geometry material instead of encouraging them to Algebra II, as they are not ready for that kind of jump. One of his decisions in this regard was to have them help him write a grant for a geodesic dome to be built onto the Middle School. If you are wondering (as I first did) what that is, click here.

We just learned today that their grant was funded. The two of them (and the teacher) will be going to Augusta on Thursday to receive the grant from the governor.

Twenty years from now, when he's home from some big city to visit he will drive by the Middle School, point to the dome and tell his kids he helped make that possible. He amazes me.

Perfection

2009-11-17T07:20:00.003-05:00

Many of us long for perfection. We are supposed to, I think, because it is Father in Heaven's way of inherently helping us to improve constantly. I enjoyed thoroughly a talk given at church a while ago, and want to share the concept here.

It was stated that often in our church we talk of striving to be like Jesus, who was perfect, and therefore we strive for perfection. Almost always it is concluded with "But Christ was the only perfect human being, and therefore while we strive for perfection, we will not achieve it on Earth. But we should keep trying."

Well, the occasion I refer to was different. This person, who has taught me so much through the years by bearing his testimony with the Holy Spirit present, gave new insight. It is daunting to always be striving and never achieve. Yes, we have small encouragement as we improve slowly, but still we are always needing to improve in that mindset. The new paradigm is to look for the perfect moments. No, we may not be perfect in all things ever in this life. But we should look for the moments when, for this moment, we are perfect in this thing. Christ was indeed the only person to walk the earth who was perfect in all things all the time, but on occasion, here and there, we can achieve perfection. We can be the perfect spouse, parent, child, friend, for that one moment, when we nail it just right.

We are perfect in the moment when we say or do just the right thing, or don't say or do anything at all... and we must focus on those moments long enough to gain strength to try and do it again. If we never reward ourselves with the joy, we truly set ourselves up to fail. I am grateful for the person who gave me this insight, and for the Spirit that has testified to me of its truthfulness, and I pray it might speak to you, dear reader, today.

So hard to be a baby...

2009-11-05T08:38:00.008-05:00

Ok Mommy,

I'll do my best,

I think I almost got it,

Oh, this is SO hard,

Wait for it,

Ummmm,

Yes!! I smiled!

How do they pack so much personality into just seven little weeks?

He sneezed!

2009-11-04T14:22:00.002-05:00

And I got it on video. I don't know if there is much in the world that is cuter than a baby sneezing!

Great Grammy

2009-10-27T15:52:00.000-04:00

This is Thomas, staring adoringly into my grandmother's eyes. She says he hands pretty hands like my Granddad. I love to hear anything about my Granddad, I still miss him awful. Grammy isn't shy about wanting to hold Thomas when we visit, and I am trying to make an effort to get him over there as often as I can, I think it's good for all of us!

Cute Baby

2009-10-26T15:37:00.003-04:00

Thomas at his first fair, in Farmington, on the 22nd of September.

Isn't he a supportive little brother? He's cheering on those big brothers as they show their steers!

Thomas's Arrival

2009-10-11T15:10:00.000-04:00

Well, I apologize for taking so long to get to the story, most of you will have already heard it in person by now. But still I must blog it, because as you may or may not know my memory is dreadful, and it is an experience of eternal nature, one that deserves remembering.

As pregnant as I can get!

Expecting the 5th child, Daddy decided it was time to do some learnin'.

I was to be induced on the 16th, at 7 in the morning. I was to call at 6 am, and ensure there was room at the "inn", a mere formality.

Or not. There was no room. My children had all spent the night at my mother's, as we thought we would be leaving at 6 am. Turns out we went back to bed, and were told to call around 11, some women and babies were scheduled to go home, and with fast labors they would still consider doing it then.

Feeling optimistic, we left home around 9 and went to brunch, Bill, me, and Melissa, who was planning to attend to me during labor. As we finished brunch around 11, we called the hospital. The midwife was unavailable to answer. So, we killed time at the mall, which for those of you who don't know, is dying a slow, painful death. At 1, with an awful back ache and a heavy heart, I said to heck with it, and we headed home. Upon checking our messages, the midwife had called to say let's try again tomorrow.

We opted to have the boys stay with my mother. Bill kept telling me not to be depressed, and I finally replied, "I'm not depressed, I feel like I had my head ready to go to the hospital and have this baby, and now someone has hit a pause button. i don't want to do other things, i don't want to talk about anything else, I want to just wait for time to pass and go to the hospital and HAVE the baby."

So, the next morning we were up at 6 and called the hospital. They said to come on down, we would try it again. We got there just after 7, and decided we would begin with pitocin. Pitocin doesn't scare me as it does other women, because with Zachary we used it, and it was begun so slowly and gradually it was a lot like natural labor. The problem we faced was that to be on pitocin the baby's heartbeat must be monitored. Thomas was apparently very excited at the idea of being born, and feeling his oats he wanted to play hide and seek. We spent until 9 doing paperwork (which is actually all on computer in the room now) and trying to keep the heart monitor over him. Every time we found the heart rate again I would be as still as I could in hopes of not losing track of it, but sure enough he would know, and move around anyway!

So the pitocin wasn't begun until almost 11, I think. As a side note, the IV that they put in was begun earlier, around 8, and the nurse literally said, "Well, let's get the IV in as soon as we can so ten they won't send you home." The maternity ward was still extremely busy. Our nurse's name was Alita, and she was wonderful. Can you believe one of the questions they ask was what number (on a scale of 1 to 10) pain level do you think is acceptable during labor? Bill and I laughed about it, and the nurse told us the sad part is they have to ask that question even of first time moms, as though they are supposed to know what to expect!

When they started the pitocin, I had two contractions, and with the second one Thomas's heart rate dropped to around 120. Normal for him had been around150 when he was awake, and in the 130s when he was sleeping. So, the nurse stopped the pitocin, and had me shift positions, and in a moment or two it came back up. She then said we would wait for the midwife to come in before doing anything else, and explained to me that if his heart rate was to drop again, there were 4 things she would do. the first was stop the pitocin, the second was to increase fluids through the IV, then give me an oxygen mask to send added oxygen to the baby, and fourth have me shift positions. The theory at the time was that perhaps he had grabbed onto the cord, or maybe was laying against it, in which case by having me move positions might take the pressure off.

It took awhile for the midwife to come in (I may have mentioned they were crazy busy) and when she did she suggested that she break my water to put an internal monitor on Thomas's head. Trying to be still during the whole morning had really stunk, so the idea of the internal monitor sounded great at that point. So, turning the pitocin back on, she broke my water, and put the monitor on. The contraction I had his heart rate plummeted, I heard the nurse tell me it was 90, but later I found out it had dropped as low as 60. As it began to drop, the midwife said she was calling in her friend the doctor, and the nurse had me start shifting positions. I had enough time to ask if this meant a C-section, and hear her say I think so, before the doctor walked in seconds later, and said something to the effect of, "OK, let's go." Dr. Burkley told me later that she took one glance at the situation and made her decision, but later went back to look at what had gone on with the heart monitor record and it just confirmed to her she had made the right decision.

I found myself being wheeled out in the hall and around to the operating room that was right there on the other end of the floor. It took them awhile to get a sheet over me, but I wasn't at all concerned with that, though I remember thinking any pregnant woman in the hallway would probably have been terrified by the sight of me. Later I learned someone was handing Bill plastic stuff to wear, and Melissa was helping him put it on.

The doctor told me as she wheeled the bed she was sorry we wouldn't have time to talk about this, and I said, "I don't care, I'm totally fine with this, just do what you need to." I remember thinking as we went into the room, "Hm, so this is what this is like. I thought we could end up here, it's not so bad. At least I'm not hyperventilating."

When they got Thomas's monitor hooked back up his heart rate had come back. I found out that instead of putting me to sleep and getting right to it, they now had time to give me a spinal and prepare me for a few minutes. Again, the heart rate came back because with no pitocin the contractions stopped, and the pressure on the cord was relieved. The anaesthesiologist told me to round my back as much as I could, and I remember being annoyed he kept saying to bend my head down more, and I finally removed the oxygen mask and said, "I can't bend because of the mask, if you need me to bend more I have to take it off!" And they said no, leave it on, but they stopped telling me my head wasn't down enough!

Laid back down, my feet started to tingle, and they waited until I couldn't feel anything below my head. I kept asking where my husband was, and they kept saying they were getting him, which I knew wasn't true, because I could hear him laughing nervously outside the door. I also remember briefly thinking that my children would be really ticked off if we came home with no baby, and pushing that thought right out of my head, because I knew we were meant to have him in our family. I had asked if Melissa could come in, and a nurse said it was up to the anaesthesiologist, who politely ignored me.

After they had the curtain up so I couldn't see anything, they brought Bill in, and no, he couldn't see anything either. The doctor had said getting the baby out didn't take long, putting me back together was the time consuming part. Sure enough he was out in moments, and they called the time as 1:43. I remember thinking, "Oh thank you God, he's alive. Is it really 1:43?" Bill asked if he should go get him, and I said "Absolutely." A minute later he brought him where I could see him, and I remarked about his hair, and his ears! He was beautiful!

I asked Alita if anyone had told Melissa we were ok, and she said no. I asked her to let her know the baby was fine, and so was I. I was asked if I wanted Thomas to stay in the room while they sewed me up, or should they take him and get him cleaned up and weighed and stuff since I couldn't hold him anyway. I opted for Bill to go with him to the nursery, which was just as well, because they then proceeded to knead my lungs like bread dough for 20 minutes, or so it felt. I was actually floored that the incision is so low, I thought they were working much higher. And I was very glad my husband wasn't there to see me throwing up laying down, it was horrible!

While they were sewing me up, Chris (my midwife assisted) was telling the doctor that I must have had some kind of mother's intuition, because I had been telling her how nervous I was about labor and delivery. She told her I had even said in her office one day that if it ended up as a cesarean I was alright with that. I thought to myself that the Lord must have been preparing me for this for awhile. The cord was not only around his neck once, but more importantly it was also between his head and my cervix, so every time I contracted it was squeezed. A cesarean was unavoidable.

I also remember my back hurting awfully, and desperately wishing I could turn onto my side! For someone who couldn't lay on her back for months, I was NOT interested in doing it now!

Finally I was moved onto a different bed and brought back to the room. I had these funky things put on my legs that squeezed them to aid in circulation, which meant they didn't tingle awful as they woke up. And there was a recovery room nurse that came in who I REALLY didn't like, she was curt and put a narcotic in my IV without telling me, because I would have said no, I don't want to be sleepy. Fortunately it didn't make me drowsy, so I was able to see Thomas when they brought him in! Melissa had gone to the nursery with Bill and Thomas and her camera, so she took pictures for me... I was a bit disappointed to learn that way that he had already had his first bath...

but he probably needed it, and was so wonderful when he finally showed up. The one thing we didn't get was Melissa's picture with him,

and I think we still haven't, which is a little insane. Something about photographers hiding BEHIND the camera. It didn't work out that she helped me through labor, but I was extremely glad she was there anyway, and not just because she took pictures! I'm also grateful it timed just so that Nicki arrived moments after they took me to the OR, so that Melissa wasn't alone. They were able to keep my mom posted, and my husband wasn't alone through it all.

I have said, and will continue to say, for something that went so wrong, it couldn't have gone more right.

Tiny ears, huh?

Ten toes!

Holding Daddy's hand for comfort.

The pediatrician commented no more jump roping for him. I guess the cord was all kinked and twisted, even with a due date of the 20th, the 17th was the right day for him to come. Daddy says he can still play with fire hoses though, when he gets bigger that is.

Minutes old and he was already entertaining Mommy!

For those of you who have been wondering, they are very happy with him! It took Michael a litle while to get over the fact that we were in the hospital longer than planned, but now he has agreed that it's good to have Thomas!

Thomas Randall Jones

2009-09-21T13:35:00.003-04:00

I will post more later, but for the time being, a summary:

-born Thursday, Sept 17th, at 1:41 in the afternoon
-8 lbs, 9 ozs, 20 and 3/4 inches long, 14 cm head
-TONS of long hair (we figured out where all of Daddy's hair went!)
-TINY little ears
-l o n g fingers
-4 adoring big brothers who are very glad we are home
-1 emergency cesarean, but more on that later!

YUM!

2009-08-29T17:02:00.001-04:00

Due to a suggestion made in the comments I am fully intending to write a loving, kind, and considerate post about my husband. But probably not today. No, today I am going to share with you a peek of the deliciousness that came my way only yesterday, from a kind and loving friend!

That's REAL whoopee pie cream people, not the frosting I wimp out and use on the rare occasion I make them because it's quicker.

On the plus side, this whole gestational diabetic thing has proven to be quite the silliness, so I can EAT things like this with no hesitations whatsoever. Although I did share with those around me! Thank you Beth!!

The reason our middle child can confidently claim that position now...

2009-08-28T15:10:00.004-04:00

Ah yes, little Thomas. We have no pictures of him, aside from these ultrasounds, but there are certainly things to talk about! Not the least of which are his ears, which I am totally expecting to look like Michael's!

The truly least expected, we were certain that Zachary was to be the last on so many levels.

That said, he has become is also the most anticipated, as even Michael made a comment the other day. Zachary had asked how much longer before Thomas comes (he regularly announces he "misses" him) and when I replied a few more weeks, Michael clapped his hands and said, "He's coming that soon?"

I grinned and teased Michael a bit, "What? I thought you didn't WANT another little brother?"

And he grinned, and said, "No, I don't..." but he laughed.

Things like today, Dustin came home from school with a notice about Lego League not starting until September 28th. His comment? "That will be after Thomas comes!"

We are waiting with baited breath... some of us more comfortably than others!

Mama's Boy (Unless Daddy's in the Room)

2009-08-25T17:43:00.003-04:00

Oh, little Z. Named with the last letter of the alphabet because he was to be the last one.

This child came out of the womb with attitude, and I mean FULL of personality. Only about an hour old this picture was taken:

My husband swears he was thinking, "Mom, do we know this guy? He looks a little crazy, are you sure?"

After the most horrible 9 months of being able to accomplish absolutely nothing, and the scariest labor of them all, our family was rewarded with this little piece of Heaven that made, and still makes, every single one of us smile.

Even doing silly things like moments ago looking for his bathing suit, being told it was in the car, and running out to the car to get it.

Completely naked.

Not a stitch of clothing on, nor a care in the world about it!

He has the face of an angel, and charm oozes from every pore. Women have complimented his appearance, and actually stated that he is cuter than all of their own children. I'm serious!! But she swore me to never tell! As discussed in an earlier post Zachary means God remembered, and four the last four years he has been a reminder to us of the love, joy, and blessings God wants each of us to have.

Now, he is FAR from perfect. He has timeouts when he hits (generally when he didn't get his way), he can whine regularly about having to do some of the basic things asked of him (like get dressed), and he has recently discovered that just because he was the one to do something wrong doesn't mean he has to ADMIT to being the one who did it. A few weeks ago he even managed to hide the crust of his sandwich behind something on the dining room window and told Mommy he had finished it (needing to eat the WHOLE sandwich is a daily "discussion" between us). He also announced in a class full of 4 year olds at church recently that he can say he's sorry when he kicks his brothers in the nuts.

That got me a friendly call from the teacher Monday morning! :-)

With three big brothers, and the oldest 13, he is often trying to be older than he is, but he tosses and turns so much at night that I haven't figured out how to get the brick to stay on to slow him from growing.

I suppose I shouldn't try, with every day he just grows deeper and deeper into my heart. As do all of them, it's a crazy thing, a mother's love. He starts preschool in about 3 weeks. I haven't allowed myself to think about how much I will miss him, because he is SO thrilled to be going. In fact he was devastated to hear recently that he wouldn't be going on the same day as his big brothers. I think we will manage to find something fun to do together, though, and frankly I'm looking forward to it!

The Middle Child

2009-08-18T20:06:00.001-04:00

That just might sum him up!

Well, that and the fact that he is a Jones, through and through, which I think has made him the hardest for me to understand. He is VERY outdoorsy, and has been since the day he was born! He has always loved the farm, the hayfield, the animals, the fairs, and he has been waiting to be a part of it all (showing his own animals) since he could walk and talk!

Speaking of talking, he was in speech for several years as well, but in a very different way. He would talk, but through clenched teeth, not really opening his mouth. Literally when I first brought him the therapist stretched his cheeks every day before we began! He has overcome this as well, unless he is under stress, and then it floods back, one of the ways I can tell if he's having a hard time with something.

He is playful and fun, but has a distinct soberness about him as well. I was able to bring him to the school when I volunteered to work in the copy room. He was four years old, and I told the volunteer coordinator I wouldn't have been OK with bringing my other boys at that age, but with his quiet demeanor Michael would do just fine, and he did! He liked to push the buttons and play shy whenever another adult walked in the room, and he LOVED to see his brothers at school!

His biggest challenge these days is that he is a worrier!! Even when something fun and exciting is planned, it never fails that he will come up with at least one reason to not want to go, or why it will turn out badly. We are working on this, though, and I have to say I am very proud of him, because he generally does it anyway, and has a good time! He is definitely a homebody, though, another quality from the other side of our family. My family, especially my mom, tend to get itchy feet if it's been awhile since we have gone away. I love where I live, but sometimes it's nice to see new things and places. Michael gets the most nervous about going overnight somewhere without an immediate family member. I would like to think he'll outgrow that, but I'm not entirely sure, and I'm not in any hurry!

At school, however, he is a different child! He apparently has taken to being the class clown with two or three of his friends! I'm curious to see if this continues with the new school year, as he will be with almost all different kids. Mind you, he is only silly when it's OK, I've never been brought to school to deal with lousy behavior, thank goodness. Another difference between school and home is at school his teachers say he is always helpful, and while he does his share at home he usually grumbles... A LOT!

A quality that my family and Bill's family could compete to claim is his ability to hold a grudge! For example, the one time he did get his name on the board in first grade (two years ago now, mind you) he will be more than happy to tell you was for a "stupid rule. Only one person at the trash can at a time, I needed to sharpen my pencil, it's a stupid rule."

I had to agree, but reminded him he needed to try to follow it anyway. The funniest part, in my opinion, was his offense at having his name on the board. There was no inside recess, no note home, no privilege lost... but he was (and still is) TICKED about the whole thing!

He has always wanted to do what his brothers are doing, and this has led to soccer and T Ball, followed by baseball. This year he is branching out, realizing soccer is not so much fun to him, and trying out basketball, like Dustin. Lots of his friends play, and he is really looking forward to it, already practicing dribbling and shooting in the yard. I hope he likes it, as much as I like to watch soccer, basketball doesn't overlap the fair season!

Child #2

2009-08-16T18:34:00.005-04:00

Now this one has given me a run for my money! He scares me still to this day with the things he is willing to do and try. As a toddler he simply had no fear, and probably only survived that stage because his mother was terrified he would be hit by a car or something and rarely let him out of her sight! If he wanted something, you could put five barriers between him and it, and it only lengthened the time before he got it, he truly would NEVER give up!

For that matter, as a small child he had three people he would go to or stay with, Mommy, Gramma, and Great Grammy. Yes, my mom and her mom. Crazy as it may seem, Daddy was not on the list. He also had trouble learning to talk, spending years in speech therapy. When he was two he wouldn't put his lips together for sounds like m and b. Someone asked me what he called me then, and I said, "He doesn't have to call me anything, I'm always here!"

All that time and energy paid off though, today he is pretty well adjusted. I figured out a lot about him as he grew, including the reasons he wouldn't stay with other people, he is connected to the McDonald family (my mom) in a manner that is just unique. First to be born after my Granddad passed away, he looks like him, acts like him in many ways, and has taught us a lot about ourselves!!

Something that skipped over my mom and me, though, is his adventurous side! He was the first to be invited to drive the boat when we spent the day at the Harrington's camp this month:

Doesn't he look cool! He asked several times if he could go faster, but I answered before Mr. Harrington with a firm no! We also held onto the toddlers a bit more tightly, because turning becomes a bit precarious at those speeds!!

And then there's the thing from Philadelphia he did, at The Franklin, a museum. They had a contraption a good 50 feet in the air, and he wanted to ride it. Mom put him off when they were walking in, but on the way out he begged and she caved, figuring there was a safety net, how bad could it be?

Cool as a cucumber, enjoying the ride!

But the best part about him, in my opinion, is his love for the underdog. He has such a strong heart, and compassion like no one else I know. He roots for the team that no one else (at least in our family) likes, the NASCAR driver everyone else is glad to see lose, and the kid on the playground that no one else wants to play with.

Never was his compassion more evident than during his friendship with Savannah. She was Michael's age, but Michael has always been drawn to play with Kiara, her sister. Brian on the other hand would sit for hours, playing Gameboy, or watching a movie, joking back and forth quietly. Even when we were making that ridiculous amount of strawberry jam, Savannah was allowed to use the Kitchen Aid to mush the berries, she ran to invite Brian to come help her, and they had a blast! It's one of my fondest memories.

Definitely having given me the most exhaustion of any of my young children, I have learned from him that the more work put in, the greater feeling is the reward. He is smart, diligent, stubborn as a bear, and for that I am eternally grateful!

My oldest...

2009-08-12T17:19:00.002-04:00

This one here, my oldest, has been thirteen for a few months now. The transformation has been truly remarkable. He got taller, built muscle, and his voice deepened in about a week! He also developed this pesky desire to push things and exert his strength. But interestingly enough, a couple of talks later and he got it all under control, well, as much as any of us in the house do anyway.

I told him that I understand he feels like an adult and wants to be treated as such. But I told adults treat each other a particular way, and he needed to focus on attitude and TONE. I pointed out that when I speak too harshly to his dad, or vice versa, it is usually because we are tired and cranky, but we immediately try to acknowledge that the tone was not intended, and then (crazy thought, I know) we APOLOGIZE. It's been pretty easy to call him on that and have him see it since. Sometimes he has even apologized for a tone I didn't think was all that bad, but that he noticed wasn't intended toward me and wanted to fix. Between that and a couple of lectures about the Lord expecting us to be able to control our tempers, things have been wonderful this summer.

I'm a bit worried about him going back to school. He has a great class, the graduating class size has fluctuated between 45 and 50 kids, and most of them get good grades and are generally nice. But so many parents don't think teenagers can have control of themselves, and I hear terrible stories about drug use in the high school (he'll be in 8th this year, it's coming right up) I worry about his being influenced by that. I don't think he will succumb to peer pressure necessarily, but I wonder if he will see his parents in that light that his friends will, and think we need to lighten up.

I tell him regularly he is going places, and I firmly believe it. I believe he will travel on his mission (our young men tend to serve a 2 year proselyting mission once they turn 19), and that he can get the type of education that will prepare him for a career, one that I would love to see take root in Maine, this place I love, but realize it might not. I try to tell him, again and again, that what happens in school socially may seem overwhelming at times, but this is only the beginning, and soon he will have more choices and control over what he experiences, that the grades are what will take him far, not the people.

He makes a great big brother, and I can see someday he'll be a good dad. He plays with his brothers, and the other day he came in all excited after shooting hoops with Michael. He told me about teaching Michael how to steal the ball from him, "I said don't watch the basketball, watch my belly button. I told him I can fake him out moving the ball around, but I'm not going anywhere without my belly button!" And Dustin was so excited when his little brother did it like he showed him and got the ball!

He's a hard worker. He went on a 3 day scout hike/canoe trip, and received the greatest compliment from a man who has known his dad for decades... "He sure is a Jones." Apparently, he was always looking for something productive to do, always willing to do just what you ask, and helping others with things they needed, not complaining. At home I try to watch myself, I know he will do just about any task I ask him to, whether it's swapping the laundry, making a sandwich for a brother, getting something from the car, or even reading Zachary a story to get him off my back. I really try to watch and be sure I don't ask him to do too much, he is still a kid after all, but especially with being due to have a baby in six weeks it has been a HUGE blessing this summer, and something I have missed on the days he's been gone!!

His reward for this help? No, I can't afford to give him an allowance. His reward is he gets to hang out with the grownups, and do things like Facebook and drive tractor in the hay field, staying up late playing Settlers or Clue with the adults. His uncle even gave him a lesson on driving his pickup truck in the hay field the other day. That's all it takes, he works doing things like the grownups do, and gets treated like a grown up.

Funny thing about it is, us grownups are REALLY enjoying his company! So while it is a reward for him, it's been fun for us too!

My boys...

2009-08-10T17:21:00.000-04:00

I have amazing children. I mean AMAZING children. I was laying in bed this afternoon (my favorite place to be this pregnancy) thinking about the unique, wonderful qualities of each of them. Lots of moms decide to post about their children on their birthday, listing accomplishments and milestones, that has never appealed to me. I think instead I want to make a post about each of them, right now while it's fresh in my mind. I'll be publishing them over the next few days (I hope!)

Big Babies...

2009-08-02T17:06:00.002-04:00

So, my midwife (not the one who delivered all four of my boys, sadly she has changed professions) met with me this past Friday. She said, "OK, let's look at the ultrasound results... hm... how big did you say your biggest baby was?"

"Nine pounds, 12.6 ounces."

"Oh, ok, it looks like we may have another big baby here."

He apparently measured over five and a half pounds. He could be a preemie and still come home from the hospital. For those of you unaware (I have to be reminded every pregnancy) babies tend to gain half a pound a week the last eight weeks. We have seven weeks to go, which means 9 pounds by the 20th of September.

So, I rattled off to her 9 lbs, 12.6 oz, followed by 9 lbs, 6.4 oz, then 8 lbs, 12.6 oz (exactly a pound less than the first) and the last was 8 lbs, 2 oz, but came out with his fist beside his forehead. Big babies don't scare us.

Bring him on!

He's SOOOOO CUTE!!

2009-07-27T12:50:00.003-04:00

So, at 30 weeks I was measuring a bit larger than desired, which means we get to have an ultrasound at 32 weeks to see that the baby is not in distress, heart function is good, plenty of fluid, and lungs doing whatever they are supposed to at this point. The tech said everything appeared well! And I decided Thomas has Michael's ears!! So cute!

This one shows a profile, for anyone unsure his head is on the left of the screen, forehead nose and mouth!!

The only slightly bad news is he is feet down at the moment, but she assured me there is time (and space) for him to turn still.

Consider yourself updated!!

Dustin Played Basketball

2009-06-30T09:17:00.004-04:00

Well, I've uploaded pictures from my camera, and I found some of Dustin's championship basketball game. For the second year in a row they were undefeated, and very excited! Before I blog baseball, I want to give credit to him! Being awfully miserable and pregnant during the season, there is a sore lack of good pictures (lousy lighting in gyms helps that too) but here are a couple!!

Team name was the Nuggets, they are all named after NBA teams. Realizing that the intent is Gold Nuggets, the original team being from Denver Colorado, our boys liked the idea of naming their plays after dipping sauces! There was no "Number 1" hollered in the game, oh no, you would instead hear the point guard yell, "Barbecue!" Or, "Sweet n sour!" It certainly made parents smile, though the coaches (die hard sports fanatics, both of them) appeared a tad embarrassed!!

They get mighty aggressive by Middle School, that's for sure! My bnoy is on the right here, in the light blue.

There he is, in the back in this one (the kid being SQUASHED in the middle is on the other team, the Celtics):

And here's the team after their big win, he's second in from the left in the front row! Woo HOO!!

Why this takes me so long...

2009-06-05T08:30:00.001-04:00

OK, so names suggested have been: Colin - diminutive form of Nicholas, and Nicholas is Greek and means "victory of the people". Not bad.

Cameron - Bent nose. So we nix that one.

Adam - One I have toyed with seriously, it means of the Earth, you know, like Adam and Eve

Jack - A diminutive form of John, which means God is Gracious. Not bad.

Peter - Greek, meaning Rock. Well, the whole firm foundation concept isn't bad.

Ryan/Brian - I have a Brian (it means strong, and holey canole it fits!) but Ryan means King, though it sounds probably too much like Brian to get away with it.

Now, with more than a little apprehension I feel this child needs to have a name from the McDonald family, my grandfather. I'm apprehensive because the child who is most like them (Brian) was the one I have had the hardest time with as an infant/toddler. But he's still beautiful and wonderful and amazing, it was all worth it.

Perhaps just the middle name, and the choices that are recent enough, or common enough to stick out to me are:

Simon is of Hebrew origin, and it means "To be heard".

Randall has English origin, and it means Shield Wolf. Now, I don't know what shield wolf means, so I'll have to think on that. Another site says Wolf Counselor. Hmmm.

And Carroll - which is a form of Charles, which is German and means Free man.

I also like David, which goes back 5 generations from me, we had a David Gilman Tripp. David means Beloved. We also have Josephs, and Joseph is Hebrew and means God will Increase. Way back is a Thomas, which is Greek origin and means "a twin". I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it was also an original apostle at the time of Christ, which I like, and while he was "Doubting Thomas", because he would not believe on the other's word, that's the sort of thing one would expect from a very literal McDonald child. Our current prophet is a Thomas as well.

We have an Edgar, but I'm not mean. No offense great-great-Granddad.

So then Nicki found this website with baby names that goes a step further. You enter the name of your current child, and it made suggestions for what other parents who named their child that used for their other kids too.

Dustin brothers: Dylan, Austin, Brandon, Cody, Hunter, Tyler, Logan, Jacob, Christopher

Brian brothers: Brandon, Matthew, Michael, Andrew, Kevin, Sean, Daniel, Christopher, Justin, Joseph

Michael brothers: Matthew, Nicholas, Christopher, Joseph, Andrew, Daniel, Jacob, Joshua, Anthony, David

Zachary brothers: Jacob, Joshua, Nicholas, Matthew, Tyler, Alexander, Benjamin, Nathan, Ethan, Ryan

As you can see, Dustin doesn't fit in with the rest. But so what? It fit for us.

The Nicki insisted on looking up my Granddad's name's meaning, although I would never use it. Way to old fashioned (it's popularity piqued in the 1950's) and he was never called it. But, it is Elwin, English origin, wise friend. Hmm, that fit him I think.

Anyway, to focus. She then went through the sibling names, categorized by how many repeated, and copied the meanings for me (I was in the car, working the census that day).

In order to prevent my longest blog post ever, I will skip that, and now reveal the name.

With all the hooplah against David (it's my mother's boss, my best friend's father-in-law, Bill just doesn't like it, blah blah blah), I decided not to go that route.

Our new little boy will be:

**drum roll please**

Thomas Randall Jones.

Yes, I know Tom Jones is a singer, my father-in-law is George Jones and he survived. And Tommy Lee Jones the actor, and even Thomas the Tank Engine. Not important.

Thomas Randall Jones just feels right.

Have you Missed Me?

2009-06-04T15:58:00.004-04:00

Yes, it has been awhile. Between pregnancy, working 20 hour weeks, appointments, and baseball, all the life has been sucked out of me. I even went weeks without going to Walmart because who had the time? Or energy? And our pantry shows it. I mean I already knew but reaffirmed the idea that when you make the money there's no time to spend it, but when you have the time there's no money to spend!

You did notice I've been gone, right?

Well, we have chosen a name for our blessed baby boy, and I have a whole big blog post started on it, but I want to add a few things, so check back tomorrow, it should be up!

BTW, for some reason I don't get cool email anymore. I mean I get store emails, and the MSFFF (some Firefighter thing) sends me email, but I feel like there used to be so much more.

*sigh*

A rose by any other name...

2009-05-11T15:30:00.002-04:00

Bill wants to open the blog up for name ideas. I will be switching back to allowing anonymous comments for it, since a lot of you read blogs but don't write them.

Be aware, if the meany who said nasty things in the past comments something rude it won't be approved, so don't bother.

I have an idea for a name in mind, but Bill is excited to hear what you all will suggest! Please bear in mind, I will be checking the meanings of all the names, as that is very important to me!! And as a small disclaimer, I get to name this baby, Bill named Brian and Zachary (we make sure the other one doesn't hate the name, of course) and I named Dustin and Michael, so it's totally my turn. Therefore, don't be bummin' if I don't use your idea!!

The Big Day

2009-05-06T14:56:00.006-04:00

Will we go pink?

Or will we stay blue?

Pink can be pretty. Yes?

But blue can be nice and shiny, too.

Will we need to learn to accessorize?

Or just keep playing trucks?

Of course, two would mean the potential for pink and blue!

Ahh, well, I can't hold back any longer.

My baby has five little toes on each foot!

And a beautiful profile, don't you agree?

Oh...

yeah...

and my baby is...

a...

And me? I feel, well, relieved actually. I didn't expect to, I really could have gone either way. Perhaps the relief has more to do with the baby having all the right parts in the right places, lungs, kidneys, heart, stomach, etc.

I hold to the fact that boy or girl is indifferent, healthy is what I really want. And I got it!!

I need to slow down...

2009-05-06T07:41:00.003-04:00

I wake up every morning feeling tired enough to go back to bed. I'm thinking about calling to postpone my doc appointment and ultrasound so I can get extra sleep.

Oh, I kid! I'm beat, but the suspense is killing me too!!

I managed to get through Monday on a sugar high... the nurse called at 8 am and told me I passed the glucose test! WOO HOO!! I beat the lousy system!

Saturday we had double header of baseball, and the game before ran late, so we were there awhile. I got a sunburn, which was nice! Bill baked apple pie for the birthday boy Saturday night, and decided we need nighttime fire drills. The pies ran over and burned on. He let a puff of smoke out of the oven when he took them out, and all the detectors went off!! But NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE budged. He told us in the morning, and we were all, huh, never heard it.

Dustin turned 13 Sunday, which deserves a post with pictures, but right now I just don't have time to upload anything to blogger. I do have pictures though. Monday night I ordered his Lego NXT for him (he almost had enough with this years birthday money added to the year of cash he has been saving) so he's thrilled. On the teenager note, I asked the school secretary to have him call me when it was between classes. He did, and I was explaining to him I wouldn't be home after school and why. He interrupts me, and says, "Mom?" "What?" "I'm missing gym class."

Allrightythen.

Sunday we skipped church (2nd week in a row, not good) for the fireman's family breakfast. VERY yummy, and excellent service i must say. The officers on the dept cook and serve, you just sit down and great food keeps showing up!

We found the kitchen counters Sunday afternoon, no small feat for those of you who have been in my house! They still look good, but in the process of cleaning this weekend I lost my laptop cord. VERY BAD. Of course, Bill (aka Daddy Finder of All Things Temporarily Misplaced) found it Monday night, in the couch cushions. Sigh.

I drove 142 miles for work Monday. Then after supper we helped a couple from Texas move into Wilton. They were great. I tagged along because with no nap, I thought Z would fall apart, and he insisted he was going. But he didn't, so we were out late. Then I worked Tuesday, starting with a meeting in Rumford, and after an afternoon nap and supper we went back to unload the rest of the U-Haul into a storage unit. Again, I went along to keep the kids out from underfoot, sure I could leave after a short time. We left at 815, which was still earlier than Daddy. They are such nice people though, I'm just glad they had the help.

So now, I blog. It's just the rundown of where I've been, but now you know. I'm bringing the laptop. I may be able to blog more there. But for now, back to bed.

Brace yourselves...

2009-05-01T15:43:00.004-04:00

It's going to be one heck of a weekend.

I need to try to get to Walmart tonight in Farmington to pick up my Rx refills. While I'm there, if I get to go alone, I may get my hair ~~shaved off~~ cut. Please tell me it looks nice tomorrow, even if you live thousands of miles away and don't know what it looks like/looked like before.

Then, I am getting up at 6 am tomorrow to drive to Lewiston (45 min) and take a 3 hour sugar test that I absolutely refuse to fail. R.E.F.U.S.E. I intend to exercise in between drinks in order to boost my body's insulin production. I will also be fasting (both reasons why I will crawl out of bed that early to do it) which means unless you want to tell me my hair is fabulous you should avoid me tomorrow. Pregnant woman + messed up eating schedule = G.R.O.U.C.H.

I also need to purchase a gift for a certain young man who will be (gulp) 13 on Sunday.

My husband expects to be building a barn on Saturday morning, and as much through the day as he can manage.

Probably straight from Lewiston I will be going to Michael's first baseball game in Brettuns at noon. Unless of course I have to drive past it to pick him up so he can attend it, I really don't care to watch the team without him there. It will be followed by Brian's first baseball game, conveniently at Brettuns. On the plus side, they have a port a potty. On the even plusser side there's a little variety store just up the road with excellent, FLUSHING facilities. Then it will be time to bake a cake in preparation for the birthday festivities.

Hard to tell who's going to cook supper, might go for pizza.

And that folks, covers my day off!

Sunday of course will be filled with church until 1, followed directly by a nap, and then a birthday supper of Italian Casserole followed by a birthday party for the aforementioned 13 year old. He just announced he wants an apple pie. Hmmm. We've never not had cake in this family, I'll have to consult the apple pie maker (Bill). That could get me seriously off the hook though!

Relaxing, refreshing weekend, no?

And next weekend, I work 8 hours for Melissa on Saturday! Woo HOO!

FYI

2009-04-27T20:26:00.003-04:00

Just thought you should know I'm still here.

Baseball is started. Red Sox Schmed Sox I root for the A's and the Bobcats. AYS teams, that is.

Everyone is grouchy round here. But we voted.

Finally finding a groove with the job. But now I have to go to a last minute meeting at 8:30 in the morning to get reemed out that our area isn't pulling it's weight. I'm pulling all the weight I agreed to pull, so we'll see how this goes.

Been a long day. Headed to bed very, VERY soon.

No, we still don't know if the baby is a boy or girl. May 6.

Learning a lot

2009-04-22T16:07:00.003-04:00

Sarah asked how the job was going. Well, I can honestly say I'm learning a lot. I'm learning lots of little side streets, that my car is too hot on cool air and too cold on ac, and that I don't like working full time. I'm also learning that my kids don't get out enough, because frankly they are thoroughly enjoying spending time out at sitter's, I'm not much missed! I also learned about myself that I do NOT like to be focused on making money. That whole thing where I can only stay focused on a certain number of things, trying to earn money is not what I like to focus on. You know, that whole how many hours and where can I fit this in and such. Not my style. I make a very good stay at home mom. On the plus side, I can honestly say that I have never been one to want my husband to work work work to earn money either. There is just so much to be said for family time, that I hate to sacrifice it for money.

Of course, that explains why we have debt as well.

*sigh*

But we have well adjusted, happy kids. Who are tired of spending time with their mom.

2009-04-19T19:22:00.000-04:00

You Are an Okay Listener

You try to be a good listener, and usually you are.

But some people are just so boring and difficult to listen to!

Your mind tends to wander during some conversations.

You are likely to space out a little or try to change the subject to something more interesting.

Are You a Good Listener?

I DID IT!!!

2009-04-17T19:44:00.003-04:00

I had no idea on Monday just how satisfying this would feel! I completed the entire week of training, all four nine hour days, though the 4th day cut out early and I wasted no time leaving! I am now gainfully employed! Birds are singing (seriously, my windows open) children are happy (they actually griped when I came to get them early, thanks for the great job Nicki!!) and I can breathe a bit easier.

Now I am going to plan out my routes for tomorrow, when I hope to get in my first day out "in the field"! Honk if you see me, I'll be the minivan with the US Census Bureau Official Business sign!!!

And the answer is....

2009-04-08T09:39:00.004-04:00

***UPDATE***
The ultrasound is scheduled for May 6. Sigh...
*** UPDATE***

I know you are all anxiously waiting to hear whether or not this baby is a boy or girl...

No one more anxiously than my boys...

Except maybe a group of seventh grade girls at the Middle School...

Well, I had an appointment yesterday (finally HEARD the heartbeat)...

And everything looks good...

And my next appointment is May 6...

And we are waiting for someone to call with an ultrasound date...

That had dang well better be before May 6...

And THEN we will have an answer.

Isn't the anticipation enough to drive you nuts?!?!

Need a laugh?

2009-04-06T20:14:00.004-04:00

For post #200, I'm going with an easy Internet thing. We received an email from the fire chief, which turned out to be a cruel joke to play on a pregnant woman!! But, after I went to the bathroom, it was REALLY fun!

Mom, don't bother clicking through until you are at home, you MUST have speakers. And I know, it is nine minutes long, but I promise you will laugh for at least six of them!!

Http://videos.komando.Com/2008/06/04/mans-surprising-laugh/

Blue and Gold

2009-04-04T10:00:00.001-04:00

There is apparently this thing that happens every year in Cub Scouts called the Blue and Gold. I don't understand what all it is, but they apparently are to make as interesting of a decorated cake that they can.

Well, that and bring potluck for a luncheon.

My poor husband. I was recovering from the flu, and down and out again. But, that Friday evening he baked a cake into two rounds. Then he let Brian make frosting Saturday morning. Then, after finishing mixing the frosting thoroughly, Brian and Michael colored it. They went with a patriotic theme.

Bill bought a few bags of salad on the way there for the potluck. I had to take Dustin to his basketball game, so I missed it. Bill said he would take the camera, but wouldn't take pictures, so I didn't send it and took pictures of them at home!

Brian's won most patriotic, and Michael's cake won most wildly decorated. I think they suited well!

Science Fair

2009-04-03T17:23:00.002-04:00

Dustin had to do an experiment for Science this year. He decided to use nails, stripped copper wire, and batteries to make magnets. He then tested different gauges of wires, to measure how many paper clips the different gauges would pick up. It went pretty well overall, though I should say the batteries do get very warm when hooked up to the wire, and if you let them get too hot because you are almost done testing, they will explode!

Trust me.

April Fooled

2009-04-03T07:24:00.003-04:00

I thought I would let you all in on the joke I played. Yep, I played an April Fool's joke, and it worked.

I went to familyfun.com because I am not creative. They had this joke, which suggested to put an elastic around the sprayer at the kitchen sink. My elastic didn't fit right, so I thought about it, and since the sprayer is black, I used electrical tape. Oh yes I did. And then I laid down with Z for a nap, giggling uncontrollably.

When Dustin and Brian got home, I waited. Then Z woke up, and went out to see them. I waited. He asked for grapes we had just bought that morning, and Dustin took some and rinsed them for him. In the kitchen sink. Nothing.

I got up. I asked him about the grapes. He gave me a weird look, and kept saying, "Yeah, I just rinsed enough for Zachary." I kept looking at the sink, and he kept saying, "What?"

Not enough tape. Electrical tape has this interesting stretchy quality, and so it had stretched.

Dustin and Brian joined in the giggling as I retaped it. With lots of layers. Then I ended up going to Walmart. I called as I headed home at 5:00, Dustin was still doing homework, and so I asked Brian to start cutting the english muffins for english muffin pizzas for supper.

When I got home, Brian said, "Mom, it works! I spilled pizza sauce, and went to get a dish cloth, and forgot and sprayed myself!!" We laughed heartily, especially because Brian has been working through a list of practical jokes he's played on others all day long!

Dad arrived minutes later, and got in the shower after a day in the cold mud, having dressed for 50 degree weather. Oops. When he was dressed again, I moved to the dining room to wash the table and asked him to make Kool-aid. Then I asked Brian to put away the Cheez-Its he had snacked on. So Brian was in the kitchen, watching and waiting.

Oh yeah. Not only did Bill get wet, but Brian laughed so hard he fell to the kitchen floor.

Who do you suppose Bill assumed the guilty April Fooler was? Yup. He turned the sprayer on Brian!

I laughed and laughed! Brian was still laughing when he said it was Mom, who was still safely around the corner where the sprayer would never reach! I did get a big wet hug though, and reminded Bill I don't have any other (maternity) clothes , so be nice to me! It was blissful.

Next year I am doomed.

Overheard at Bedtime

2009-03-31T20:56:00.002-04:00

Z (age 3): Dustin, did you have a good practice?
D (age 12, just having gotten home from basketball practice): Yep.
Z: Did you practice your drills? And all your tools?
D: (chuckling) Yep, all my drills, and screwdrivers, and hammers and everything!

Things I am Grateful for RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

2009-03-23T17:15:00.003-04:00

My Heavenly Father loves me. He loves me enough to guide me to a man who will love and care for me and my flaws. He loves me enough to rely on me to meet the needs of others. He loves me enough to test and try me to make me a better person. And He loves me enough to surround me with good friends who love me, and listen to the Spirit even when it's not an easy task.

I had a dear friend, one whom I love thoroughly, make time to come and see me today following a prompting that could only have come to her from the Lord. It took her out of her comfort zone, and she apologized. But the apology was unwarranted, as she left me with an invaluable gift.

A new perspective. In our church, as in most religions, we are taught that you can't take "it" with you when you go. The cars, houses, toys, and flat out money of this world is just that, of this world. There is only one thing that can go with our Spirits when we pass to the other side... our relationships. Consequently, our relationships, especially within our families, are of the utmost priority. "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." - Prophet David O. McKay. I knew that. I know it to be true in my heart and soul. But what I hadn't considered, then, was this:

If Heavenly Father wants to give one of His children a lasting, eternal gift while we are in this life, what would it be?

I have no greater gift than that of my children. They are my greatest joy, my life's work, and my life's greatest reward. They amaze me, they literally leave me in awe of them. How is it that I could have overlooked the concept that the Lord is not presenting me with new challenges, but is actually presenting me with a precious gift? A gift that, in His infinite wisdom, will last for an eternity.

Thank you for opening my eyes.

Just reread my last post...

2009-03-17T15:17:00.005-04:00

...and realized all the things that I was planning or had done... NOT planning to be pregnant.

I was going to go to the gym this fall.

I was going to enroll Z in Pre K. (Now I'm worrying he is too young, I've heard many a kindergarten teacher talk about the difference between fall/spring babies and summer babies!)

I was going to clean out and rearrange Michael and Zachary's room.

I was going to hang shelves in there.

I was going to keep up with the motivated moms list and have a cleaner house.

I was going on vacation with my mom this summer.

I was going to plant a garden and can vegetables.

I was going to focus on frugality and saving money.

Instead?

I'm pregnant, and I can't seem to get out of my own way.

My husband reminded me, per my request, that I NEVER was able to cook supper when I was pregnant with Zachary, not without throwing up anyway.

He's going to a firemen's supper tonight.

We are going through the drive thru.

Am I depressed?

I think part of me is trying awfully hard to be.

But... I can actually feel the baby move. Oh, well, I have to lay almost totally on my stomach and it probably squishes the poor little ~~guy~~ kid but then I feel ~~him~~ ~~her~~ IT moving ever so slightly.

Then I remember how terrifying labor is. It took 4 times for me to remember enough that I now know at three months along it is TERRIFYING. Selective memory.

Then I see pictures like this:

He's the newest member on my side of the family.

And get a birth announcement with a sweet picture from Bill's side of the family.

So I read the talk found here:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-9,00.html

(my linking skills are off!)

that was recommended by a couple of people. It was really good.

And that leaves me at thinking, "Hey, only 187 more days! I can do this!"

Now I'm going to lay down, before I change my mind again!

An UPDATE

2009-03-10T16:18:00.004-04:00

Dustin is playing basketball for the AYS Nuggets. He's liking it, and so far the team is undefeated, having played each of the other teams once. This last team was the closest game, and I'll be darned if sitting in the audience I wasn't thinking the coaches should settle things down a bit. Middle schoolers you know, they get a bit full of themselves and play far rougher than necessary.

Brian was pleased with his progress reports, he was so disappointed by last quarter's report card it was nice to see him happy about it.

Michael brought home the papers from the Unit on Space they have just finished. It amazes me how much they learn about each planet! I commented that I was surprised to read Jupiter has 63 moons. I said, "How do they all fit around it?" He replied casually, "Well, it is a REALLY BIG planet." So it is.

Zachary has been sick for the last two days. A temperature, and runny nose. He is trying to turn it into croup, but luckily with little success at this point. I have high hopes that Bill and I might both be able to get a good night's sleep tonight.

Bill is, well, tired. See above.

And me? I got a job. I know, it's a little crazy, but I applied to be a census taker back in December, not knowing I would be pregnant. I just need to get through the week of training (five days in a row, 9 am to 5 pm) then they ask a minimum of 20 hours a week, and it's an 8 week stint. I should be able to do that. They pay too well to not give it the old college try anyway! Wish me luck, if I can make it work that's a whole credit card balance I will pay off, all by myself!

Better

2009-03-04T16:18:00.002-05:00

Not a lot better, but definitely better. I have to give a shout out to my favorite doctor. I am seeking a new midwife office, I think, because having been to the Farmington practice twice now I'm not satisfied. My family doc was disappointed that I didn't press the OB further to help me with my nausea. For the betterment of pregnant women everywhere that would have been the right thing to do, but I was just too exhausted to care. I knew I could make an appointment with her, and be listened to. I think the OB knew what most pregnant women complain of, and dismissed it as typical, while in the same breath reassuring me that this being my fifth I surely know what I'm doing. I'm considering keeping the appointment made when I left his office, just to tell him why I'm dissatisfied and changing doctors. But I don't think I will, I doubt it would matter. It does speak, however, to the wonder and joy that is found when you can find a medical professional who actually listens to the words you say, and will seek beyond the knowledge in their head to find your answers.

Unisom. Don't lecture me, I'm taking half a tablet (no gelcap, different stuff) at bedtime, and as an antihistamine it is helping me not feel nauseous at every gentle pressure on my abdomen, including my clothes! AND it's actually rated a class A drug, safe for pregnancy. It would be nice to not need it in awhile, but in the meantime, I actually took Z out to the library today for story time, AND went to the grocery store.

Also, I'm taking extra B6. It's helping to prevent that feeling of my food just sitting in my stomach like a rock, it's a metabolism aide. Evenings are still pretty rough but I can sit upright all afternoon. My kids have noticed the change, and I still promise you that they (and Bill) are the only reasons I haven't just allowed this to run it's own course, this baby needs a mommy, but so do my other boys!

The News You've All Been Waiting For...

2009-02-27T19:26:00.002-05:00

It's a BABY!

Yep. The heart is beating, and the little person has been there for a WHOPPING 10 1/2 weeks. I have to admit, I let out a little shout for joy knowing it was a week and a half more than we had originally thought.

That works for me.

September 20, for those of you who care to mark their calendars.

Heaven help us all!

Yes, I have pictures.

No, I haven't copied them to put them on here.

Give me a few months, I will get to it.

The boys? Mixed reactions, mostly trying to figure out what all of this means. You know, kind of like Mom and Dad are trying to do. ;-)

Thank you for your prayers. I'm still sick as a dog for now, feel free to keep them coming!

Girl Scout Cookie Time!!

2009-02-24T17:01:00.001-05:00

I saw this at Count it all Joy, and couldn't resist!

Oddly, these are my favorite cookie, with Thin mints and those coconut ones!

You Are Peanut Butter Patties / Tagalongs

You are creative and artistic. When you think, you tend to think big.
You go for the drama. You love excitement and passion... even if it gets you in trouble.

You are intense and a little self centered. You can be quite full of yourself (but not without reason).
You tend to be very indulgent. If you feel like having something, you go ahead and treat yourself.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

From my Mom...

2009-02-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

My Blessings

2009-02-20T12:53:00.000-05:00

I want to thank everyone, including my aunts through email, for their sweet thoughts and comments, it has been really nice opening my email to sporadically find people thinking of us and wishing us well.

I also want to warn you, this blog is the closest thing I have to a journal right now. I have learned to hesitate from putting my most intimate thoughts, this is after all the Internet. And I enjoy meeting new friends and reading about each other's lives. There is a mom in Chicago who could be me five years ago!

But this whole pregnancy issue is such that I just feel I have embarked on an emotional roller coaster, and if you are willing to hang on tight you are invited to come. I can't promise where we will end up, unlike parks and Disney we may get dropped miles from the beginning. But the Lord promises me it will be where we need to be. I can't begin a separate pregnancy blog, as I have seen others do, because unlike other women being pregnant seems to consume every fiber of my being, and I can only be one person. If it's too much to take, know I love you, and won't be mad if you leave me for awhile.

At the moment, things are really good. I feel the need to count my blessings, they may not all be blessings in your eyes, but they sure are in mine!

1. First and foremost, my wonderful husband. The man is truly a gem, even though he had the nerve to ask me if I was ok when I was in the middle of barfing my guts out the other night. He also manages to do every little thing I ask him to, and the man keeps house better than me, even with a 50 hour a week job. The best part, is that when I ask him to come and sit with me instead of whatever he was doing, because I need a distraction from myself, he jumps to it. I could never get through this without him.

2. My kids. I have four, you know, potentially a fifth on the way. They love each other, they love me. They worry about me, they teach me, they even take care of me. My darling three year old loves to come up to me when I'm not feeling well and say, "Mommy, do you want me to get you a drink of water?" He also asked about Advil until I finally told him Mommy can't have Advil anymore right now. He's a peach. They all are. Michael hugs me with great frequency to help me feel better, and Brian and Dustin are quick to do anything, firewood into the stove, make their little brothers' lunch, anything I'm not up to doing. They even pick up toys and fold laundry, bless their hearts forever. Oh, and they read Zachary stories, a true gift.

3. My mom. My whole extended family, but really the most is my mom. I told her about all of this last Tuesday, and she called me that Friday morning to tell me she finally woke up without a headache. She thinks she is past worrying now, because really she is not a worrier and worrying won't help a thing anyway!

4. I have enough. I have a warm house, food to eat, clothes for myself and my family, and even a little extra. We even got satellite service back this week, I never knew how much I would miss Noggin.

***WARNING*** It's about to become VERY random.

5. Noggin. I actually watched it the first hour after the installer left, even though the older boys were at a movie and Z was asleep!

6. I've been feeling a bit better since Sunday. Smells still get me badly, but yesterday I even forgot to eat my mid-morning snack until my stomach lurched.

7. I threw up last night. It was the after taste in my mouth that did it, it was nauseating so I tried brushing my teeth, figuring either I'd be better off or puke. I puked.

8. Puking is a blessing to list. You see, miscarriage tends to follow feeling suddenly better, as my hormone levels drop. So being sick like that suggests still pregnant.

9. Still pregnant seems like a blessing. A week ago, it didn't, but man, if my pregnancy could go on like this, I could not just live with it, but be happy in the midst!! Ah, the gifts of God.

10. Prayer. I am so grateful I can talk to my Father in Heaven, and know that He will listen to me, and help me feel better, even if the trial doesn't go away.

11. Scriptures. I have my very own copy you know. There was a time that such a thing was hard to come by. Now scriptures are everywhere, even on the .net, and yet people don't make the time to read them. Lately, I have made time, and I am grateful. If this pregnancy doesn't result in a baby, but does result in my daily scripture study being strengthened, it will all be worth it.

12. My friends. I have great friends online, but I have superfabulousfantastical friends in real life. They are good to me.

13. Sneakers. I like my sneakers.

OK, I'm tired now. The rest of my blessings will be numbered in my head. Nap time.

Best Laid Plans...

2009-02-14T16:26:00.003-05:00

I haven't been around much, sorry about that. I have an award from Jenn and a give away win from Tracey I meant to post, since DECEMBER, but I figured the Christmas rush would be over and I would have plenty of time.

I FINALLY took down my Christmas cards, yes, on VALENTINE's Day.

I still need to take my Christmas/Winter decorations off my front door, but don't have the gumption to do it.

I lay on the couch most of the time feeling nauseous, and none of my clothes are loose enough to be comfortable, but I haven't gained weight. I rarely have had the energy to even use my laptop, sitting upright for long is just too uncomfortable.

I've puked three times in the last week, but I don't have the flu.

I can't cook dinner any more, the smell of it drives me to hide under the blankets of my bed, and I refuse to allow my husband to cook anything for longer than 20 minutes, same reason. I did put a roast in a crock pot yesterday with no problem, but I let it cook in our garage.

I can't stay up past nine without feeling disgustingly bloated up so that I can't stand myself anymore.

I overheat at the drop of a hat, and the overheating makes me nauseous. But my feet are ALWAYS freezing cold.

So, if you showed up to read this, and made it this far, you either know what I'm about to say, or deserve to find out.

I'm pregnant.

Yeah. Uh huh. I know. We can't afford it, we have no where to put him/her (her? who are we kidding?) and after the last pregnancy the odds that this one will go well are extremely slim.

And I don't want to be pregnant. Yes, I know what causes it, the methods of prevention, not to get careless, please spare us the lectures. We do, well, did all that, and here I am. The only thing to save me now is divine intervention, which would be ok with me. My poor kids have suffered enough lately, the Lord has put us through a lot. It just seems mean spirited to ask them to go through this now.

OK, the part you hung in for. The reason you are still reading, and hopefully don't walk away hating me.

But, the Lord God Himself knows best for me, and my family, and this little person that appears to want to join us. He knows what will strengthen us, and what we can do to uplift His other children. He knows where we belong, and when we need to come, and I'll be darned if I am going to argue with Him about it.

No, even though my youngest born starts preschool this fall, and I had all sorts of ideas on how to spend that time (I even applied for a job, hah!!) the fact of the matter is the Lord knows best, and I trust Him.

I might not be too thrilled about it as I lay exhausted from... well, blogging, on my couch, but I'll get past that. And we will do what it takes to clothe, feed, and love another baby. Who will grow to be a fine young person who may very well save the world. The potential is always there. We just have to let God do His work.

Oh, Glorious Day!

2009-01-20T15:50:00.003-05:00

It was even better than I hoped. I drove to pick up my kids at school, and cringed as we left the elementary office, as the secretary's computer was playing the inauguration and Obama walked onto the platform.

We hurried, and I called Dustin (who is home ill) to see what was happening. He said Obama was indeed there, but they were not starting yet. We made it home in time for the invocation! Always odd to me that a prayer be read, but so be it, it was still beautiful. The boys, sensing my urgency, even hurried in from the car, leaving backpacks there.

And then we watched.

I spoke to Z numerous times and finally made him sit on the couch. I would have let him play, but his toy of choice was the Fisher-price Garage, and his use was moving the noisy elevator up and down, so we couldn't hear.

Other than him, they were mesmerized. I panicked when, after Biden's oath, the comment was made that Obama had been president for 4 minutes, then I realized they meant because noon had come and gone. Tears were in my eyes as Obama, the first black president of the united States of America, said, "So help me God." I applauded. And then we listened, intently, all of us, to the hope that God wants all of us to hold to. I was pleasantly surprised to hear our president speak so candidly of the new beginning, not feeling any reason to mince words with the former president sitting right there. His speech was encouraging, uplifting, and at one point I uttered aloud, "Go ahead and say it..." though he didn't. His encouragement to the individuals of our nation was to take example from our men and women overseas, and seek not for the good of the individual, but for the greater good. Be willing to make simple sacrifices in order to ensure that our neighbors have enough. I heard the words of J.F.K. ring in my ears, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

It's a turn from the selfish to the selfless. It's not about your education and your hard work that you think should result in your glory. It's about the learning and work of the nation, that should result in the glory of a nation before God. Nobody will care, when all is said and done, if John Q. Ordinary died with a million in the bank. What will matter, in my opinion, is what the generations after his will think of us one when they look back at us from the future. Will they see us as self-centered gluttons who ate our own feet? Or will they see us as one nation, united in purpose, striving for the greater good of all mankind, even a nation of King Benjamins working together to serve each other and serve God.

With leadership like Barack Obama, I have hope they might see us as the latter.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2009-01-20T08:22:00.000-05:00

"Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter productivity."
~ Erma Bombeck

From the Cricut Newsletter, I TOTALLY agree.

I'm so excited I can hardly stand myself!

2009-01-18T16:46:00.002-05:00

Flipping through the channels in a desperate hope to find ANYTHING but figure skating/gymnastics (we've cancelled the satellite because we are poor) we came upon a brief gem. President-elect Obama was speaking on channel 8 (why 6 didn't carry it I'll never know) and we listened. He spoke at the Washington DC mall, just as Dr. King himself did. He spoke of the great men and events memorialized there, but emphasized that the true miracle of this country are indeed the people who make up this great nation.

Hello. Democratic president speaking.

He spoke of the need to pull ourselves up, and the certainty that it will be done. He said that it will take time, it always does. He also stated that our country is not measured by our actions when times are easy. Oh no. He reminded us of farmers and shopkeepers who stood rightly against tyranny in our beginnings and WON. Our country's worth is measured when we are struggling.

I s'pose we can be grateful to GW for one thing.

But the best of all, the most glorious thing, was that my children sat mesmerized. And they were not chastised of all the enemies out to get them. They were not told of the need to defend and protect ourselves from the end of the world. There was acknowledgement of difficult times, and the need to pull together, but best of all, the assurance that we CAN. We are able. We are strong, not just because we have big guns, but because we are a strong people, of a great heritage.

Everything I believe my faith teaches. The world is falling apart around us, we knew it would, indeed it must. But we need not experience it in fear, we instead are intended to band together, strive for what's right, and have faith that as we do so we as individuals and as a nation can be comforted.

I never realized until this night how much I have MISSED being able to sit and listen to our nation's leader and feel inspired. It was awesome. And only the beginning.

My children gave me weird looks, because when he ended, President-elect Obama said, "and God bless you." I immediately responded to the TV, "And God bless you."

I am only somewhat ashamed I was never inspired to say that back to Bush. Though I doubt I said it to any other president either. But I fear for this one. For the safety and strength of our country, I hope there are many praying for this man's safety, from the simple minded who might fear his color.

God bless and keep you, President-elect Obama. And thank God you are here.

Now, this is more like it:

2009-01-17T12:31:00.000-05:00

You Are a Chocolate Shake

You are a total hedonist. You are drawn to pleasure.

You are an expressive, over the top person. You're naturally dramatic.

You're the type of person who always chooses quality over quantity.

Life's too short to not have optimal experiences. You're proud of being picky.

What Flavor Shake Are You?

In a desperate attempt

2009-01-17T09:57:00.003-05:00

to find something interesting to blog, I went to blogthings.com and took a random quiz. However, it was apparently completely inaccurate, as it claimed that I would best be described in the dog world as a chihuahua puppy.

Um... NOT.

So, without further adieu, and no preparation on his part, I am turning this post over to...

(drum roll please...)

Dustin! He often says he needs a blog. Let's see what he can do.

Hang on, I have to go make his day and tell him he can blog on my laptop.

Hi Mom, nah just kidding. Hello, I'm Dustin Jones, I'm in the 7th grade and I need a blog. Okay, maybe I don't NEED one but it would be nice to have. Then I could share with the world how crazy and hectic my life is. Let me give you the details.

I compete in the FIRST Lego League. FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition in Science and Technology) is a company the holds robotics competitions. Lego League is one of the divisions of FIRST. Last year my team and I did very good. We made it all the way to the world competition. Boy, with 10 kids and 8 adults walking the streets of Atlanta Georgia, sometimes we looked like an angry mob. We placed 68th out of 82 but the experience was just too cool.

I competed in Middle School Soccer. That was a blast! We probably lost more won but man, we didn't lose to Livermore. For all those of you that haven't lived in the tiny town of Jay Me, Livermore Falls is our schools arch rival. The first game we played them, we tied 2-2 but we came through and beat them 3-2 at our field. Yup, soccer was fun.

I'm taking High School algebra 1 in 7th grade. Now most kids take algebra 1 in ninth grade, but I've been in my school's Gifted and Talented (GT) Mathematics Program since the third grade. In sixth grade I would practically fall asleep during math class because I already knew everything that they were teaching. If I stay on the course my teacher, Mr. Taylor, has me on right now I'll be taking college calculus my senior year.

Here's some more random stuff about me. I have 3, not 1, not 2, but 3 younger brothers who like to annoy the begeebers out of me. I love to build, Lego's, K'Nex, Lego's, Erector Sets, Lego's, did I mention Lego's, I Love Lego's. They're the best thing ever (except indoor plumbing). I've got the best friends a kid could ever have (4 of which were on my Lego League team last year). With all this stuff, I should write a book. Oh! I HATE writing!!!!!!!!!!!!

With all the things I've got going on I need a blog. Don't you agree?

In case you were wondering...

2009-01-16T13:53:00.003-05:00

I totally fell asleep. Big surprise, you put a thirty-ahem-year-old woman beside her 3 year old baby and tell her to lay still, and breathe slowly, so that he will get we are napping and lay still and breathe slowly so that he will not be an intolerable earthquake of chaos and destruction come 5 PM and of course she falls asleep. Don't hate me. Just because then I wake up and move to the couch so I don't have to be squooshed up by the bed rail so tightly I can't breathe or move and doze some more because really who only sleeps ONE hour and the 3 year old wakes up and is tended to the now-home-from-school 12 year old because REALLY PEOPLE, MOMMY IS TRYING TO SLEEP.

Yeah.

Anyway, I have a bone to pick with the blog world. It's cold outside. I know it's not the blog world's fault, but I am sitting in a draft, with the laptop ON my lap instead of the appropriate shelfy lap thing to keep warm, and if you folks out there don't blog SOMETHING (with the exception of Tracey, and Melissa, and Josiah I am going to have to get UP and do SOMETHING productive, like pick kids up at school. ACK!! I've nothing left to read online! Blog!! EMAIL!! SEND ME A MILE LONG FORWARD, PLEASE!! Anything but housework!

Thank you, in ADVANCE.

MJ

ps. people, do you realize how long those links took me to make? I'm desperate, truly.

I was going to blog...

2009-01-15T11:51:00.002-05:00

No, really I was, Z is watching a movie and it's not quite 12, I don't need him in bed for at least an hour.

But he just announced he's tired.

TIRED.

I have 4 children. And I can count on one hand the number of times my offspring have uttered those words.

And no, I don't have extra fingers on my hands. It really is just that rare.

So, I'm off to put a boy to bed. Maybe I'm early enough I won't have to fall asleep too.

But I doubt it.

I tutor.

2009-01-14T08:00:00.001-05:00

It started as a, "He needs somewhere to go after school a couple of days a week, and is getting behind in his homework, maybe you could help him with it." So begins R coming, Mondays and Wednesdays after school. Conveniently, the same days Shamira is usually here anyway, so no added craziness to the schedule.

Turns out math is one of his biggest downfalls. And I suddenly had to face my worst nightmare:

EVERY DAY MATHEMATICS.

No, not dealing with math every day, I love math. I had a teacher who stated "Math is life!" and I never once argued that point with him.

But Every Day Mathematics is a curriculum they have implemented in my children's school. They began it when Dustin was in the third or fourth grade I think. He wasn't hardly involved in it, because he did the ALEKS online math program in GT. The ALEKS program, in conjunction with a teacher, is in my opinion fabulous.

Every day math, however, I spent arguing with several teachers, not the least of which our beloved Taylors (Mr. and Mrs.) of how horrible it was.

It spirals. Meaning you introduce some things that you won't expect them to master, but don't want to sound like a foreign language when they need to master it (trapezoid in kindergarten kind of things). That's ok with me.

The spiraling, however, made it difficult for students who began the program in 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade to do the work, as the program assumes they have been introduced many things they were not. Frustrating, but with our excellent teaching staff not insurmountable.

You still learn your basic facts, multiplication tables etc. However, it also teaches numerous ways to do the basics, like multiplying and dividing 2, 3, and more digit numbers.

Enter in the lattice method, my arch nemesis.

Now, I know that different children learn differently, and need different ways of doing things. But the flaw I found was that ALL children were being expected to learn ALL ways. They couldn't just solve the lattice method their way, or solve the standard methods the lattice way, they had to show the work of all the ways during all the parts of instruction.

I grew to hate lattice method in particular. As it was explained to me, you just pull numbers from thin air, and it drove me NUTS. I mean N. U. T. S. NUTS!

Math is methodical, it is what it is, love it or leave it, yelling at it won't change it, and in 500,000,000,000,000 years 6 x 8 will STILL equal 48.

That's a thing I can stand behind. It's black and white, even variables are what they are, they have rules and regulations, policies to follow, and if x = 794 then it equals 794. 'Nuff said.

R is in 5th grade. Same as my sweet Brian, who gets his math genes from his math-loving parents (Bill's right there with me). I tried to help R with division. R is new to the everyday math program, Brian has been in it for years, but not R, due to different schools in his past. Of course, the 5th grade level caused R's mother to throw her hands in the air in disgust and wonder if her son would ever be able to catch on to it. Much like the mothers of ALL the 5th graders back a while. Had it not been for my Brian, and Mother Google (I used it oh yes I did) and a WHOLE lot of time and patience, I'm not sure R would have caught on. And in the process, so did I.

You don't blindly choose a number. You choose a multiple of the divisor you are familiar with. He knows his times tables, that helps. And he's learned the rules of two, threes, etc when it comes to division (google them, they could be fascinating to you).

And I'll be darned if that lattice thing doesn't work for him.

However, it works because he can use multiplication to get to his quotient. Not because he understands the division. And it will never work in the grocery store, when you are trying to figure out your ~~cost per cookie between Mrs. Fields and Pepperidge Farms~~ cost per muffin with the different brands of muffin mix. They do the weights for you, but one package makes 5 muffins while the other makes 6. Hmmmm.

But, I get it now. And I owe the Taylors both apologies (and a handful of other teachers) as the method isn't totally useless. And I can tutor it. Now I'm back to needing Mother Google just to help Dustin with his college Algebra. I want to go back to school!!

They say the best place to keep your enemies is close, so you know exactly what they are up to!!

Mommy's Little Helper

2009-01-13T07:59:00.000-05:00

My kids are cute. That's not an opinion, it's a fact. One that I remind myself of DAILY to ensure their survival!

So, sometimes they do things that are, well, cute... and I take pictures. Other times they do cute things and my friends take pictures. Occasionally, though rarely, they do things that are not very cute at the moment, but I take pictures knowing that I will look at them days or weeks later and find them cute. And there are those rare, fleeting moments, when my friends take my kid's picture when they are doing something that is cute at the moment to them and they think will be cute eventually to me.

THAT my friends, is what you are about to see.

You be the judge.

Zachary (3) had pestered Brian (10) beyond tolerance. I told Brian to leave the room, ignoring Zachary. It worked, and Z was bored, almost instantaneously.

So he found trouble. In an effort to dissuade him, I gave him a "job". He was to clean the extremely large, 80's decor mirror in our bathroom. The darn thing covers the wall above the double vanity. I moved the toothbrushes. I sprayed it down with Windex, lecturing all the while that this was an abundance of blue stuff and he would not get more.

I gave him a wad of clean paper towel. I lectured that it was "more than enough" towel and he would not get more. And he happily wiped away for quite some time.

Then Donovan (4) saw what Z was doing. He immediately ran to me, and with a dreadful stutter finally "tattled" on Z. I told him that was Z's job, his chore. He insisted he wanted to help, and as I began to explain it was Z's chore and he couldn't help, Z hollered from the bathroom, "It's ok, Do'van can help me."

Angels appeared and sang a hallelujah chorus in a moment of toddler kinship.

So I brought Donovan in with his own paper towels, sprayed a little extra windex for kicks, saw how cute they were and sent D's photographer mother in with my itty bitty camera to take pictures, because they were CUTE.

She laughed, she directed (move that way, look at me, cute!) like she does, because she's a photographer, while I sat at my dining room table.

And then I heard it.

Donovan: "I need more soap."

Soap?

More? Soap?

Uh Oh.

Quickly followed by:

Zachary (loudly) "Shhhh, don't tell my mom!!"

I suspect this is the getting of the more soap...

Time to rinse

While this likely depicts the "Don't tell my mom."

Very satisfied with his work.

Another happy boy!

So nice they can work together!

Partners? Uh, only in crime folks, only in crime!

Where have I been?

2009-01-12T16:31:00.003-05:00

Sorry, I hope there are still a handful of people out there who will stop by now and again and see if I've written anything. Where have I been?

Well, right here in Maine. I've been:

*making phone calls for my calling (to find people to do service that needs doing)
*helping out in Primary
*decorating a Christmas tree
*tutoring
*babysitting
*assimilating truckloads of new things into my home (i.e. Christmas)
*reading a series of books (I'm on book 3)
*laundry
*playing Settlers of Catan
*taking down the Christmas tree
*sweeping
*watched Bedtime Stories at the movie theater (LOVED it)
*watched Bill make homemade ice cream that wouldn't solidify
*volunteering to make copies at the school
*answering emails from teachers about my kids
*cooking dinner for 9+ (we've had a full house a lot lately, it's noisy but a lot of fun)
*sorted all my pictures through 2008 and archived them on my EHD
*washing my bathroom mirrors. Over and over. I'll blog that later.
*painting trim
*eating brownie batter
*baking cream cheese chocolate chip cookies. They aren't that good, but Nicki and Melissa liked them.
*attempted to scrapbook, once.
*sending kids out in the snow to play
*wiping up snow when kids come in
*forgetting to tend the fire
*moved furniture for Melissa
*dragged Nicki to Melissa's to run phone wire
*throwing away broken toys
*wishing I had SOMETHING to blog about.

And then on Thanksgiving...

2008-12-20T08:16:00.000-05:00

I took these pictures in the morning:

Why was I out in the icy cold? Because my family was invited to do this:

...with some families from church. Yes, they are playing football. It turned out to be the Hydes, Jones, and Howatts, which is a REALLY fun combination! It was David Hyde's idea, I do believe, and they all really got into it.

Team MVPs:

Is this legal? Or what they call holding?

They want to make it a tradition, I do believe the flyer said first annual. I'm not sure Bill will be able to handle it very many years, though!!

More old stuff...

2008-12-19T09:53:00.004-05:00

Been meaning to post these, too, you know, since I took them on November 19th.

He's three, and he can almost always dress/undress himself. He only runs into trouble with pulling things over his head. And snaps.

His ~~taste~~ choices are not always good, though. He outgrew this before I got it in the drawer this summer. Since he can't wear it next year, and Bill and I aren't having more boys, and we heat with wood (aka our house in 90 degrees all winter) he was allowed to wear it. Until it was time to leave the house, anyway!!

Anyone up for a game?

Old News

2008-12-15T17:02:00.005-05:00

Our trees were massacred recently. I took pictures.

The "tree people" as they have been dubbed by my family have now been in the area for a few weeks. When they appeared outside my house, they said they were contracted to clear all along the roadside, eight feet back. We debated the merits of having them just cut down, but three or four cars a winter slide into that ditch, and I don't want any of them in my yard. I plan to look for saplings along the power lines in the spring, and plant them between the older ones. The older ones we'll cut when the saplings are large enough.

A few feet back, that is. And we hope to prune them, so that this needn't happen again down the road.

They do it to prevent power outages from wires being in the branches. The irony is, we never lose power, and last week (after the devastation) our power flickered off three times. Oh well.

For those who (like me) don't know, pines won't grow back where they have been cut. So these will be like this until we cut them.

I WROTE A POEM

2008-12-12T12:20:00.004-05:00

To a form, even, called a pensieve. Robin, over at Pensieve, (and yes the spelling is a play on pensive Nicki and mom, read her blog post for the explanation!) created her own style of poem, she describes it like this:

Pensieve: A titled, five-line poem; each line correlates to one of the five senses--sight, sound, scent, taste, touch--and describes the subject (title). The goal is for the reader to take on the poem as his own, being able to "experience" your subject through your words, by seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling what you described.

I totally loved the thought. She is holding a contest, you can enter either a haiku or a "pensieve" on the subject of Winter or Christmas.

I chose both ;-).

So, here it is, be gentle.

Christmas Tree Hunting

The cold bites the skin, but the hopefuls press on
The laughter fills my ears, as snowballs are tossed OVER my head!
The green of the firs is deep and everlasting, as our Savior they represent,
The smells are faint, teasing, but promise to explode in the warmth of our home,
The cocoa warms the soul, comforting and bringing peace.

*edited to add*

click here for more poetry with the same guidelines!

Nicki asked if you can vote for me, I don't think so, but leaving her a comment about liing mine could never hurt!! She's supposed to pick her favorite, and their IS a prize at stake!!

Innocence

2008-12-05T19:32:00.003-05:00

My kids are playing on the living room floor. There's a race track, you snap it together and then have little push things to make the cars go, two at a time. They are laughing, they are joking, making wise-cracks about little old ladies' driving, and naturally arguing a bit here and there.

The TV is blaring the evening news, national news. Completely unawares, my boys are having a wonderful time while the words and phrases unemployment, poor sales, financial bailouts, and recession are thrown around the room, literally over their heads.

Ah, to be a kid again. It's the ONLY moment of my life that I have ever thought that.

Christmas Meme

2008-12-05T07:52:00.005-05:00

In need of something cute and happy to post, I decided not to email, but blog this reply to an email my mom sent. So, the Christmas edition of "Getting to Know You":

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Definitely wrapping paper, just like my mom, But unlike her I prefer to go boxless and have quirky shaped packages under the tree!!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Real, not only for the smell and the fun of watching my husband crawl under it to water it, but because we go and cut our own, and those are memories I refuse to give up!!

3. When do you put up the tree? After Thanksgiving, we start looking for Saturdays when no one has to work, no activities are planned, and then we wake up and squeeze it in somewhere and tell the kids no we don't have time to decorate it until way too late at night and then we are all cranky!!! Oh, and I insist on videoing the whole thing. Good times.

4. When do you take the tree down? Whenever I get to it. Usually I can't take looking at it anymore a day or two after Christmas. When I had Michael (the day after Christmas) I agonized that he wouldn't feel like we did his birthday the way we did all the others. So for the first few years I raced that morning to get it down, out, and cutesy birthday things up. Then when I knew I wouldn't have much time last year, I asked Michael how he felt about it. He said the tree made his birthday even more festive! So, I'm back to whenever!

5. Do you like eggnog? LOVE it! But it has a weird after-taste, so you have to keep drinking more!!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I've had a lot. But the first that came to mind was an overgrown stuffed dog. It was HUGE. My Dad said he had picked it out, and that was just cool.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My stepmother

8. Easiest person to buy for? Well, my mom said "ME!!", and while she is easy to buy for, I would have to say Zachary.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, and my kids are more than welcome to play with it, as long as they play with it on top of the dresser I put it on.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail, around 40 in fact!!

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I would never tell, because I wouldn't want to hurt the giver's feelings.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the original cartoon. My family watches, and recite every line!!!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever something strikes me as cute, I've been known to pick up one thing in February or something like that. The bulk begins around November, though. I am just about done now, except for what I make.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yup. Well, sort of. I don't give them away, but we have given them to people to give away in the past. Sue me.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Aunt Janet's peanut butter fudge, it's dry without being grainy, just the way I like it.

16. Lights on the tree? Duh. The more the better, and I always remind Bill to put some way in by the trunk. I love lights. And they MUST be colors, white lights look very sterile. And I don't like them to flash, you should always be able to see ALL of them!

17. Favorite Christmas song? Little drummer boy, normal renditions. The poor boy gives all he has, his talents, and the baby Jesus smiles at him, what greater gifts are there?

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Christmas morning in our own beds, but we drive to grandparents to visit for the day.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Only if you want me to sing! "You know Dasher..." yeah, I didn't think you wanted to hear that!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? "Angel. She has to tell Santa if we are being good!" said my mom. She took the words right out of my mouth!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning, and Santa's gifts don't come wrapped, just presents from Mommy and Daddy are wrapped.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Trying to cut costs without disappointing people. It's not an easy juggling act.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Anything my kids make at school.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? "Anything as long as I don't have to cook it." said my mom. Ditto. My favorite thing to eat is Grammy's potato casserole. It used to be cranberry sauce, until I learned you can buy it in the grocery store. Now I get that whenever I have the craving!

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? "A trip to Hawaii and warm sunny weather all winter long. I know . . . ain't gonna happen! I'll settle for happy kids and grandkids and not TOO much commotion on Christmas Day." said my mom. I want an apology (not from her, from someone else). I guess we both dream big. I will settle for a level of understanding in my heart that makes me stop needing the apology. That might actually be possible.

Oh crap, this was supposed to be cute and light. Maybe I should move that last one up?

Too much work, just go back and read #19, ok?

Thanksgiving

2008-12-04T13:30:00.004-05:00

If a blogger does not blog on Thanksgiving,

does that mean they are not thankful?

(think tree in the woods being cut down when you read that!!)

Well not in this case. I'm in financial zone as a part of trying to regain my life perspective (that whole finding a new normal) and there isn't much pleasant to talk about with that. But, going through the schoolwork my 2nd grader brought home, I found this, and thought I would share:

He's just so sweet!!

BTW, we still call him Michael. He just writes Mike because it's easier to spell!!

The Drama 'round Here Continues...

2008-11-24T15:50:00.003-05:00

What is the safest automobile ever to travel in?

Safer than a car...

Safer than a mini-van...

SOOOO safe, it doesn't even need seat belts...

Did you guess it?

If you said school bus, you are right!

Thank goodness, too. When this minivan, for reasons I do not know, did not stop behind the stopped school bus, none of the children were injured. Fortunately the lady driving didn't get hurt either, as the ambulance was not called.

Michael said he was just standing to get off the bus, and he felt a bump. When he first ran into the house he announced the bus had broken down. Knowing they have been using several different buses to drive his route, I would not have been surprised. But I followed him back outside, saw the van, and realized what had happened.

I asked if he fell down, and he said no. I asked him several times if he was hurt, and he said no. He was a bit shaken up, though, I think it really helped to walk back far enough to see that bus bumper, nary a scratch to it.

So while we had drama again, again all turns out well in the end.

Rough Weekend

2008-11-24T10:23:00.004-05:00

It started out ok. Bill is on call this week, and went in the morning early to help a family we are friends with move. I made a dinner for them in the crock pot, and then headed to there old place to help clean it out (renting and all, you want that deposit back!) with our boys. That was fun, Wells kids and Jones kids get along ~~a little too well~~ great, add water and sponges and, well, you get the idea.

Bill intended to meet up with us and help clean, but then got a call to go to Carrabassett Valley. There's a private school with dorms up there, they partly (intentionally) drained a reservoir, and the pump quit out. Apparently they wanted water for the weekend for the 2 or 3 people still there, even though they are planning to finish draining it Monday and will need it restarted again later in the week. We wouldn't have minded so much, but Saturday was also Bill's birthday. He worked, in the cold, until about 5:30.

While he worked, I peeled and canned carrots, we won't even talk about the hassle of the gasket here, frosted the cake and made lasagna. Home around 6:30, we rushed through supper, and then had cake.

Tired who?

Sunday, he leaves early for church as usual, we are there on time, classes separate, and Zachary finally goes to Nursery (after walking the halls with Daddy for fun!).

I'm sitting in a Sunday School class when I hear screaming/crying from the hall. Not certain it was Zachary (toss up between him and out little friend Daniel, I knew the scream well though) I went rushing to the hall. Zachary was bleeding from the forehead.

It was cleaned up and determined he had fallen, and just his bad luck his head struck the door hinge. He had a nice little gash, maybe half an inch. Then the great debate began, to stitch or not to stitch. While cosmetics suggested stitch (the comment was made he might wanna be president someday) practicality was screaming 3 year old for no other reason but to be pretty?

I hesitated.

But we couldn't get a Band-Aid to stay on. We only had generic ones.

So, we took him to the ER. I was told (after the hour and a half wait) that infection was highly unlikely with a head wound, they bleed enough at that area to cleanse it.

So apparently we should have gone to Rite-Aid for a real Band-Aid.

Well we didn't wait the hour and a half for nothing, so we went ahead with the stitches.

All 4.

Poor baby didn't stand a chance. The numbing agent they used (applied with a cotton ball taped to his head) moved, rendering it useless. So, to numb the spot he got 2 hideous shots in his forehead, and then of course the stitches that didn't hurt but sure felt/looked scary.

But he can still be president now.

I looked at Bill, and shook my head. Our 3 other boys, ages 12, 10, and almost 8, have never needed a stitch.

At 3 he's now had four.

This doesn't bode well for the future.

Delving into unchartered territory...

2008-11-21T15:58:00.003-05:00

I received a difficult to read email forward just a bit ago. For any readers who were unaware, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's not a statement I take lightly. It has huge implications, and is pervasive throughout my being. It is who I am. It is why I get out of bed every morning, why I make dinner every evening, why I go where I go and do what I do. It has been commented only recently by my son's teacher, "I don't know how you do all you do..." and my faith in Christ, my particular faith in the teaching of this Church regarding Christ, is the answer. I do what I do, because, "If not by me then by whom?" My Savior has given so much to the world, to little old me, it is in my hands to do all that I can for my brothers and sisters as he asks it of me.

I am not perfect. I actually get a lot of it wrong. However, my intentions are good, I obey the laws of the land, I respect the right of others to disagree, and I try not to be contentious, although it is definitely in my personal nature. I take heart that my politics favor agency for those on the earth today, trying to stay out of moral legality. It was with great difficulty that I listened to the prophet of our church, a man who receives direct inspiration from God for us in our day, tell us that we need to be opposed to gay marriage.

I was stunned. Obviously, we preach, and I believe, that homosexual relationships are inappropriate before God. It is not in His design. This gift has been given to men and women, in order to fill and replenish the earth. But to take a political stand, which the Church works very hard not to do, on such a personal topic was hard for me to swallow.

I finally determined to make peace with the issue when a fellow blogger, not of our faith, raised her concerns about the Church's involvement in her area of the country. It was time to seek for myself why the Lord felt so strongly on this issue, not just that it is wrong to practice that lifestyle, but to not be legally married.

The conclusion I have come to is almost lost in the semantics. The Church has not asked then homosexual people not be allowed to live together. We don't oppose that these couples receive health insurance through each other's plans, death benefits, tax benefits, raise children, or even hold hands in public, and so on and so forth. We, as a Church, oppose the use of the word marriage to define that relationship. Marriage occurs when a man and a woman come together before god, and begin a family. From the official Church news website:

"Marriage is not primarily a contract between individuals to ratify their affections and provide for mutual obligations. Rather, marriage and family are vital instruments for rearing children and teaching them to become responsible adults. While governments did not invent marriage, throughout the ages governments of all types have recognized and affirmed marriage as an essential institution in preserving social stability and perpetuating life itself. Hence, regardless of whether marriages were performed as a religious rite or a civil ceremony, married couples in almost every culture have been granted special benefits aimed primarily at sustaining their relationship and promoting the environment in which children are reared. A husband and a wife do not receive these benefits to elevate them above any other two people who may share a residence or social tie, but rather in order to preserve, protect, and defend the all-important institutions of marriage and family.
It is true that some couples who marry will not have children, either by choice or because of infertility, but the special status of marriage is nonetheless closely linked to the inherent powers and responsibilities of procreation, and to the inherent differences between the genders. Co-habitation under any guise or title is not a sufficient reason for defining new forms of marriage."

-full article found here: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage

Oh. That tells me again, we are not opposed to people of that mindset receiving the rights and privileges given to those of a heterosexual persuasion. Just don't corrupt the word marriage any more than it already has been by the word divorce, please. Marriage used to be a lifelong commitment, even an eternal nature, a triangular covenant made in a church before God. But often now is not seen that way. When it becomes inconvenient, we quit. But the thing I want my children to know, is that when children are involved (as is often the case in heterosexual marriage) divorce will never sever that tie. That father and mother are forever connected, whether they like it or not, through the child they created. So don't create one unless you want that connection!

Back to topic, though, the state of California voted against Gay marriage in November. Not against gay rights, or homosexual partners living together, but against their saying they are "married".

And apparently, Latter-Day Saints are an easy target:

Yes, the police are protecting the Los Angeles temple from... demonstrators.

Perhaps it's because, as a rule, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints try to respect other's opinions. I know that, as a CHURCH, all laws and guidelines were followed in lobbying against California's Proposition 8. Now, just like the church itself didn't back Mitt Romney when he ran for president, there are individual members with their own agency to do their own thing. I refuse to say no member of the Church in California broke the rules out there, it simply is not a likely statement.

But, as a member who has had to take tedious steps to try to handle being reimbursed for items, and provide documentation up the wah-zoo, and not been allowed to show Disney movies to a nursery class because of copyright infringement concerns, I know that the Church follows the law. Perhaps a primary teacher was spotted in your neighborhood, putting up a sign in an illegal spot. Or a Young Men's president was scene taking a No on 8 sign from your yard. If so, I apologize for your being offended. I am equally offended by those who break the rules and hurt others by doing so.

But my friends, those picture of the temple in Los Angeles hurt. Badly. Worse than the signs screaming hatreds that were in other photos in the email. Because if it had been a Jewish church, their would have been an up in arms. Or a Catholic, Methodist, or any other. Shucks, they didn't even attack a Mormon CHURCH, they attacked the TEMPLE itself. A place Holy and infinitely more Sacred to us. Were there cries of hate crimes? No. Was there righteous indignation? Or restraint from those officers standing by, watching the vandalism? Apparently not. Because of all the churches who involved themselves in the cause, we are humble enough to turn the other cheek. To strive to be peaceable, and to avoid contention, knowing that Satan is the father of all contention, and not wanting to invite him into our hearts.

I do not refer to God as God. The world has taken the word "God" and desecrated to something no more than a meaningless exclamation. I believe in the power of Deity, and so to refer to Him I use the term Heavenly Father, not only because I believe he is the Father of my spirit, but because I want to show the respect in my voice that I feel in my heart.

Will we need a new word for marriage?

Kids today...

2008-11-17T20:20:00.005-05:00

*BIG LOUD CRASH*

*LONG, LOUD, 3 YEAR OLD'S SCREAM*

Mom rushes to the kitchen, only to find that her son is flat on his back on the hard kitchen floor. He is surrounded by canned goods and dry goods. The tall, pantry style cabinet is open, and one of the sliding drawers is hanging askew. Child is crying vigorously, so Mom scoops him up and snuggles him. He finally calms down and the following conversation occurs:

M: Where are your ouches?

Z: I don't have any.

M: Oh, were you just scared?

Z: Yeah.

M: Were you trying to climb the cupboard?

Z: (Indignant) NO!

M: (Doubtful) You weren't?

Z: No, I was swinging.

M: Swinging?

Z: (Nods)

Our Scrapbook Weekend

2008-11-11T16:39:00.006-05:00

I went with some friends to a cabin Melissa was able to get this weekend. A family whose son was a patient at MCCP has made their dream a reality. They made a place for families of children who have/had cancer to get away, to escape life for awhile and rejuvenate. Appropriately, the camp is named Stronghold. I think that's fantastic, as a stronghold is a place that is fortified, secured and protected, and a place for others outside of it to come to in times of great need. It had a beautiful, calming presence. I keep noticing how hard it is to decompress lately, to just relax and be calm. It was much easier there!

We all brought a meal, and the owners of the cabin treated us to one as well from the Ugly Moose. It was VERY yummy food!

I completed 27 pages, then there are 2 pages with everything done but the one title, for a grand total of 29. This seems a bit less than the others, but I was there 3 or 4 hours after them, and left around 3 hours sooner than 2 others... and all my journaling is done on my pages, so it all evens out. Some favorites to show you (apologizing for the lousy photography, my poor camera probably feels offended to be forced to take such lousy pictures!):

Nicki had my kids over the summer and made s'mores with them... sort of!

I L.O.V.E. this picture!!

Then most kids took a turn holding Ethan:

The top picture is of Michael holding a baby doll at age two, the bottom holding a BABY at age seven, the feeling hasn't changed much!!

Dustin made chocolate chip cookies for the first (and last, so far) time. He dumped in all the ingredients, without stirring as the recipe said... oops.

My boy!

I loved the quote, perfect between 2 yo Daniel and 12 yo Dustin!

Evening pictures from relay for life this past summer:

Our sweet Savannah:

Never Say Goodbye

2008-11-07T08:06:00.003-05:00

Never say goodbye

you and me and my best friends

hoping it would never end

Say goodbye, never say goodbye

holding on we've got to try, holding on to never, say goodbye.

OK, bonus to who can tell me where those lyrics are from.

A few tears were shed the evening they left, but just a few. And then last night, when the check arrived, there were none!

And Dustin's have gone to Gram's for the winter. There are no tears over getting up a bit later and not playing in ice cold water first thing in the morning!

Be proud of me

2008-11-05T08:08:00.003-05:00

I think I might be ending my tetris streak. For those of you unfamiliar with tetris, go here:
www.tetrisfriends.com

For those of you who think no one is unfamiliar with it, remind me to introduce you to my aunt Donna.

Anyway, in an effort to still love my laptop, and not waste time, instead of tetris when I'm done my email I have been sorting pictures.

Even better knowing that at least in theory I am scrapbooking this weekend.

I say in theory only because our fearless leader (aka the one with the place to go) now needs to spend Friday at the hospital and leave Sunday to attend a memorial service. Both very legitimate reasons to set aside scrapbooking, of course, but I have yet to wrap my brain around the details of it all. Perhaps we'll get to that today.

Oh, and I am being somewhat cautious of the blog world today. You see, I have allowed myself to breathe today knowing that a democrat is headed back to the white house. Perhaps people of the nation will be able to have money in their pockets in a few months. My husband's employer being able to afford the gas to send him to a service call would be nice. Even my friend's husband's job prospect relies on the government being able to afford to hire him.

CHANGE is good.

Not everyone agrees, one I read is afraid of their husband being told what to do at work.

Hmmm.

Sorry, I have no sympathy for that. My husband is told what to do at work every day.

CHANGE is still good.

It's Election Day!!!

2008-11-04T15:38:00.002-05:00

And you know what that means!!!!!

That's RIGHT! Calendars!

Oh yes, I have spent my morning at our local community building, right after the polls, trying to ~~schlep~~ ~~pander~~ sell the calendars we have made for the fire department.

Calendars you ask? Why, the very calendars that my good friend from Memories by Melissa Photography (see side bar) spent hours of her time making. She went to different training activities, and even a bonfire, as well as driving from station to station taking pictures of fire trucks. Then, she edited them, uploaded them, made them look fancy, and shipped them off. Then we ~~chewed off all our nails~~ ~~developed ulcers~~ waited patiently for them to arrive. Then we jumped up and down with happy shouts for the fact that they came out SOOOOO good! Then we nit-picked it apart for flaws and mistakes because we are perfectionists. Then we figured nobody would really care, and were happy again.

Today is our big push to sell them. We are asking $16 each, and if when we sell them all, we will have brought in $800 for the Fire Department Association to fix up the antique truck. Now typically, raising money for an old truck is not in my realm of even remotely interesting. But there's a really nice tidbit of info regarding this particular truck. It happens to be not just any old truck collected to be neat in parades, it was an actual firetruck in service in our hometown. Well, it's Bill's home town, but he has so darn much enthusiasm for it that it's grown on me. You know, kind of like fungus.

Anyway, the truck was sold many years ago to help pay for a new one, but when that owner put it up for sale, the Association (not funded by taxpayers) bought it to preserve that little piece of history.

And I. Like. History.

Especially local, small town history.

So, can I interest you in a calendar today to support the Fire Department Association in raising money to refurbish the 1936 Diamond T antique fire truck? They are only $16 each!

Hobbies

2008-10-31T22:03:00.004-04:00

My husband has taken up a hobby while he watches TV. It's productive. Good for both the environment and our pocketbook.

Me? I have a hobby while he watches TV too.

It's enormously productive!! Hey, just let me live in my dream world for a few minutes, k? Some day I'll enter a Tetris competition and win millions and help him retire early.

Or...

NOT.

I have, however, managed to figure out how to show you video... maybe. Try this, it's not my best video ever, but he's so darn cute. He was showing me in slow motion how he ran across the room!

A Moment to Boast

2008-10-30T14:37:00.002-04:00

So, my 12 year old is all signed up to take the SATs in December.

Crazy, huh?

Turns out the kid is really smart. I don't know where he gets it from. His GT teacher (Gifted and Talented) says he is eligible through this program of Johns Hopkins University to take the SAT. Why would he want to you ask? Good question. Well, there are a few reasons.

First, a nice practice run. I remember as a junior in high school having NO idea what the darn test would be like, and thinking it was truly important (not knowing I would balk at college and not follow through) I was awfully stressed over it.

Second, standardized testing has its place, and each standardized test on the market serves a specific purpose. Any and all tests Dustin has taken so far have measured his ability on a scale. The scales have topped out at 12th grade level. So, if his scores are at completed 12th grade level, then we have to wonder, how much further could he do that just wasn't tested?

Currently I believe he is taking a college level Algebra course. In seventh grade, which lines him up to take college level Statistics as a senior, with the high school paying for it, saving him hundreds of dollars. He is taking this particular class because ~~he is really smart~~ he worked very aggressively in a program that allowed him to work at his own pace. He actually wanted to work on it more than he did, regularly he asked me to help him with it (it was online, so he was able to work at home) and I said no, I was busy. To the point that when his teacher called last spring, I thought he was going to tell me that Dustin no longer qualified for the program!! Instead, he shared with me the potential of putting him, and one other student, in this excelled program. Who knew?

Anyway, so the SAT thing is another step. Johns Hopkins University actually has programs, through what they call the Center for Talented Youth, for students who score well. So, these scores will never reach his college applications, but they will go to Johns Hopkins, the school, and me.

I guess I'll keep you posted!

The paint

2008-10-24T14:09:00.005-04:00

So, some input on what we were up against.

See the light? It used to be over about 14 inches. They apparently used part of this room when they built on the room Bill and I have, and didn't re-center the light.

So we did.

See the boards? They didn't want to tape the joints. So they boarded them. Nice, huh? And then, get this, they caulked them. Crazy. This just means instead of rolling the whole ceiling you have to use a brush on the boards and each side of each board. Then you can roller in between. There are three boards, just so you know.

They wanted to put a door over this closet. It's what's left from what they took from this room, they kept it on this side. To put a door they didn't want to custom, so the door was about three inches wider than the opening, and they trimmed it out, and painted the trim, that's right, and about an inch of the blue paint on either side. It took four extra swipes of primer to cover the mess of it, but we did!

This is the closet we re-did to get rid of the sliding doors that broke. It also gives a closet for kids, and a closet for MOM!! In a house with 3 bedrooms, 4 kids, and no basement, storage is at a premium.

But we never bought the trim for it. It's next on the list.

They painted the outlets. Blue. So we have to change them out.

This little eyesore still exists. Another throwback to the 70s, we need to buy a plate to cover it.

So, before:

The ceiling:

And done!!:

We don't need no stinkin' drop cloth!!

Oh, ok, we did.

The best part... the second coat of primer and the paint I did ALL BY MYSELF!! I was very proud!

Oh the paints that I would paint...

2008-10-24T08:30:00.004-04:00

OK, wanna see?

I thought maybe. This is my husband, trying to rid the old wall of old wallpaper paste:

"Daddy, I can do that!!"

"I don't know Zack, what do you think?"

Dustin: "Can I help?"

Dustin: "Not what I had in mind, but I guess I can move boxes."

"Dad, I think we should keep this hole."

Dustin was rewarded with a chance at a power tool, the drill to remove screws holding in the shelves. Little id we know 90% were stripped when they were put in, so he couldn't get them out with it. he was a good sport though, and worked at that last one with the pliers!!
"HAH!! GOTCHA!!"

Next post will have paint!

Done.

2008-10-22T07:00:00.001-04:00

The primer anyway. Today...

I buy the paint. But, it's a half day of school, so I don't expect to get the paint ON.

2008-10-21T11:53:00.005-04:00

I KNOW that room isn't going to primer itself!

I KNOW that just half of the rolling is left to do.

I KNOW I have time left to do it before school gets out.

So why am I blogging?

Because I am TIRED!!!

You see, another legacy of the 80s my generation has to deal with, is the love of wallpaper that people who were decorating had. Why did they love it? Because it covered things. This particular builder didn't even want to tape the joints of the sheet rock, so I am looking at 1 inch boards over every ceiling seam (3 to be exact) which means you can't just roller the ceiling. And we ended up needing 2 coats of primer to be sure the base was evenly colored, because the people who painted the medium shade of blue on the trim painted the wall a solid inch beside the trim too, figuring it wouldn't matter, because they used (wait for it...)

WALLPAPER!

So, now I am taking a much deserved break. Unfortunately, my Google reader only has 2 more posts up since this morning. *sigh* So it will be a short break.

Zachary

2008-10-20T12:33:00.004-04:00

"Mommy, see that picture of me and Daddy on the tractor?"

"That picture? Honey, that's Daddy and Dustin on the tractor when Dustin was a little boy."

"Dustin?"

"Yes, did you know Dustin used to be little?"

"Yes.... but Mommy?"

"What?"

"I like tractors!!" (picture a pouty lip stuck out a mile)

Fun with Friends

2008-10-18T17:04:00.005-04:00

My dear friend S needing a sitter for a bit turned into a great photo op! We are fully in the middle of fall, and their back yard has a few large, and beautiful maple trees (my mom is scoffing somewhere at hearing that! She hates to rake their leaves!) that are shedding their leaves in glorious living color! Zachary and her boy, J, had a wonderful time playing together!

They have several kids, and an enormous fenced in yard, so they have accumulated a ton of outdoor toys, including TWO playsets, for a total of THREE slides! A three year old's paradise!

Her boy is just a few months younger than Z, but there's a big difference! J's favorite word is "Mine!" He does it in the nicest possible way, but it helped to be at their house this time, because having him point to something and announce, "That's mine!" didn't faze Zachary a bit (like it does when they are together at our house)!

We did have a wee bit of trouble, you see, they have a door from the house to the backyard, and also a gate from the driveway. We wanted to grab a sweater from my car for Z, and didn't want to go in for fear that Mommy would be suspiciously absent! So I tried the gate, and found the sliding latch a bit rusty. I went to the door against my better judgement, and found that someone upon our going out had hit the lock, and we were STUCK!

I thought fast though, and realized the little piece of rope J had been playing with might just do the trick! I wrapped it around the slider, and with that bit of grip and leverage we were out!

Note to self: always check those door knobs! Especially at other people's houses where you don't know the tricks to get in or out!!

J was catching some serious air as he bounced!!

The good thing about J is that he has no problem sharing or taking turns, just so long as you know the item is his as you use it!!

They even were sized well to share the swing, they were so cute!

I have to throw in here a picture from that afternoon, we sure got our outside time! We were going from Melissa's to the park, and in the neighborhoods there you can actually walk places, unlike here. Well I was afraid my "no nap today" toddler wouldn't make the walk back after the playground, so I drove along slowly to allow the kids to walk to the park! Dono did well, but didn't think twice when Brian offered him a ride!

Fall is my favorite season!!

The Desert of Maine

2008-10-14T10:07:00.008-04:00

So, in a last attempt at summer fun, literally the day before school started, My mom and I took the boys for a walk in the desert.

No deserts in Maine you scoff?

Not true. There is actually one such phenomenon, right here in the pine tree state. My friends, I introduce you first to the lovely landscape that graces most of our area:

Yep, we have a LOT of trees!! Not just pine, but really, there is vegetation almost everywhere. And in the fall they put on their most beautiful colors!

So, it would behoove anyone out there who might be planning a little trip to where "the way life should be" is, to stop by and see just how cool nature can be! In the middle of all this forest, down a somewhat winding road through, oh yes, trees, you come to a building. Go in, pay a couple of bucks, and walk out the other side and into this:

This is no gravel pit, people, which is what I honestly expected. It begs to be touched, it's soft and almost silky! It took less than a minute for Brian to remove his sneakers, and only moments after that the rest of us were carrying our shoes, too!

It was a vast carpet of softness, like nothing I have ever experienced!

It was originally farmland, and in the 1900's they switched their focus to sheep farming. The sheep ate through the topsoil in one little patch, and uncovered this soft sand. The wind, rain, erosion, and natural way of things took it from there. After the sand had taken over so much, over 300 acres at it's largest point, of course the farm was shut down. They turned it into a tourist attraction, even building a little water spring house along the brook. The sand kept blowing, however, and the spring house?

Well, it's buried now! Really, check out this tree!!

Surreal. We had a great tour guide, they drive you around on a little bus kind of thing,

and he did a great job of explaining how it all happened, and the fun details like the man who brought an ultrasound equipment thing and could tell them that the spring house filled evenly with sand, and is being preserved in mint condition!

He also told us that for a while they had a real live camel, but it was problematic, so they have swapped to this:

I think the most amazing part, however, is that the forest is striving to reclaim the land. It's a living, breathing (albeit very slow) science experiment, the trees drop their leaves or needles, those break down, decomposing to a rich compost soil, and then as the nearby weeds and plants shed their seeds, more and more can grow. the desert is down to just about 50 acres, if I remember right!

And you may be wondering about ants... there weren't any to be seen at first. Then as I waited for mom to walk back along the trail we had driven along, I sat in the shade. that's where the bugs are, and frankly I can't blame them!!

The tour guide said he and the other employees take turns throwing bright, shiny, colorful stones onto the sand for kids to scavenge for, so the boys of course went looking for pretty souvenirs!

Not content with the rocks, mom also treated them each to another souvenir, and Michael wanted to make a sand sculpture. They have different colored sand throughout the desert, depending on the mineral content, all of it as soft as can be. For a small fee, you can fill a little bottle, stamped with the desert's logo, in layers. It was very beautiful.

I wish I had taken a picture of just it, because we didn't do well enough getting the air out, and now it's all a uniform color, still pretty but not the same!

So, now you know. My mom is, well, 20+ years older than me, lived here her whole life, and never knew about it. One of Maine's best kept secrets, I guess!!

Hi.

2008-10-11T21:17:00.003-04:00

There's so much to tell you.

But I can't.

Life's a ...well, Life's rough. I've decided to take a step back. I think I finally can. Refocus on my children, because my husband and I, well, are in large disagreement over how to handle some things. So, while he sorts out his thoughts, because that always takes him F O R E V E R and figures out how to bridge some of this gap (I've been working on bridging, at least desperately trying to) I'm going to drown myself in my kids. Smiles. Hugs. Kisses. Stories. And, well, laundry, cuz kids who don't have clothes is not so good. Some baking. Some cleaning out of bedroom closets. You know, stuff for my kids.

I'm tired of worrying about other people. There is so little one can do for others. I'm starting to take the perspective that I have Jilled it a little. Let me explain.

When I was a teenager, there was a lot going on that was hard to take. Messy divorce, nasty non speaking terms, new religion, big stuff for a hormonal obnoxious teenager (I admit it). My mom didn't have a lot of the perspective about this religion to use it to her advantage in counseling me. For example, our church leader I believe is a prophet of God in our day. While he doesn't receive revelation for little Marie Jones necessarily, he does for the general direction of the church, and who should lead it, and where our focus needs to be as a group. Before Christ there were prophets, after Christ the apostles were prophets, why not today?

Anyway, these prophets counsel youth should not date until 16. Then, only in groups of friends, not just one boy and one girl, until they are at least 18. The idea is not to get too attached to one person when you are still a kid. Be friends, have fun, but don't put yourself in positions to take things further than you should.

Good advice, no?

My mom wasn't in a position to say, "Well Honey, the prophet tells us we shouldn't X Y or Z."

Already, with my oldest at 12, it's a handy thing to have.

Not only that, but you follow up with, "So why don't you pray about that and see what sort of feelings Heavenly Father gives you about this."

But Jill? She knew. And she had a listening ear. She was hugely instrumental in my life for a year or so. And then? It was too much. We both realized, as I turned a corner, I was looking to her to tell me what I should do.

"He who is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant." That's from the scriptures, though I never remember where. It basically means, to me anyway, we shouldn't always have to have someone tell us what to do. Parents aren't supposed to constantly tell their kids do this do this do this. They are to guide, and then let them choose for themselves, and know they will goof it up, and then help them learn from it, and move forward, always progressing.

Jill and I both knew, her probably sooner then me, that I reached a point where I wasn't bouncing ideas off of her anymore. I was asking her to tell me what to do.

And that wasn't right. Enabling is automatically seen as a bad thing, if you are enabling someone to do really awful things. But what about when you enable someone to simply do... nothing. To stop growing, to stop learning. To not feel. To not think for themselves. Isn't that just as bad?

I've been in some pretty deep things lately. And it isn't right. It stops me from being able to function as I need to. It stops others from having to do the things they need to. Isn't that enabling? Enabling people to hide from the world, to hide from their choices, to hide from their faults, well I think it stops them from progressing.

When I was gone so much this summer, my children suffered. They didn't suffer unnecessarily, it was necessary. They didn't suffer in vain, they grew and developed levels of compassion heretofore unreached by any children their age I have ever encountered. They didn't suffer against their will. There was only one day, that's right ONE DAY in the whole messy awful thing that they said, No mom, please come home. It was the evening of July 31. I wouldn't have been home before bed, I would have been there when they woke up, and they readied for the first fair on August 1.

I couldn't. I told them, "I promise I will be at the fair when you get there."

Savannah died at 3 am. I had just dozed off for a nap in the room, so that I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. My leg was nudged, and I could hear soft crying, and I knew. The angels, the THOUSANDS of angels, had finally taken her with them that night. And we had all known she was waiting for Beka, who had arrived around 7 the night of the 31st.

My children suffered. All children suffer, the world is a sad place, some suffering is abhorrent to us, other is seen as the way life goes. Ask any one of my boys if they would do it differently, and they will say no, not unless Savannah could still be alive. They loved her. Michael wanted to go with her so she wouldn't be alone. Dedicated love for a friend.

But it's time to put them first again, above all else. Above stupid sarcasm, above grown ups who can't figure out how to talk to each other, above steers, above scrapbooking, above friends who PMS and brother in laws who have no compassion.

And I'm looking forward to it.

One more day...

2008-10-04T22:34:00.002-04:00

Just ONE more day, and then the fairs are OVER! 3 more hours in the car, maybe 4 more hours in the bleachers watching cows, a few more hours sitting in the barn people-watching, one more basket of fries, and then the end.

Thank GOODNESS!!!!

The suspense isn't even bothering me about whether or not the steers will sell. There's just no way to know. Sunday at 6, we will either load them, or say goodbye and pocket the cash.

It's weird. And I'm over it. I'm too tired to care!!!

NEWS FLASH

2008-10-03T17:18:00.005-04:00

Today's top story: Dustin wins first place in the Kid's Pull at the Fryeurg Fair, 2008!!
He was offered an opportunity to pull the steers he trained last year to show in 4H. He sold them to someone who lives not far from here, and he brought them to Fryeburg for the week. So, he asked Dustin if he would like to pull them in the kid's class today. Dustin said sure, and learned that they only put 200 lbs. on the drag for this class. The owner says they pull alot more than that, and sure enough, they weren't fazed at all by the weight!!

They are all given 3 minutes to pull the 200 lbs. backand forth as much as they can, with the ring being 150 feet long.

Here they have made their first turn at the end of the ring, easy peasy!!

Here there is is a minute and 41 seconds left, and by gummy if they haven't sauntered to the other end again already!!

And down the other end again, we're in the home stretch now boys!!!

Just a little more...

Six more seconds, give a little more boys!

Because the whole drag didn't cross the line or turn, here they are measuring from the back of the drag to see how far...

588' 6"!!!

Not bad for a couple of dairy steers!

They never even broke a sweat. I may have, but that's another story!!

My wonderful boy and the wonderful steers he trained so well (and Darrell worked so well for a year) also won the Fair President's award. it comes with a trophy, and a premium, and is given to the youth teamster, ages 9 - 16, who pulls and demonstrates most appropriate use of the goad stick, careful and good turns, and overall sportsmanship.

Oh yeah. We rock!

I mean, yes, um, it was a grest competition, a good job done by all.

But Dustin ruled!!

Remembering...

2008-10-01T23:38:00.004-04:00

Please give pause today, and say a little prayer.

Regardless of your name for Him, be it God, Father in Heaven, Lord, or what have you, please thank Him. For her.

Because without her having come, my world would never have known perfect beauty. There would be less understanding, less hope, less strength to endure.

I just wish she could have taught us all of that, and stayed here to reap the benefits, without pain. I just wish Heavenly Father hadn't needed her home so soon. I wish she could have stayed and played a bit longer.

But I am grateful for the time that I had.

Soccer

2008-10-01T09:21:00.004-04:00

I really love being a soccer mom. Of all the sports my kids play, this is the one I like. It's outside, but during my favorite season, ~~fall~~ early winter.

The two oldest played on our middle school's team this year, and their season actually ended just over a week ago. Michael, on the other hand, has 1 more practice and one more game. I have been taking pictures, just not making time to blog them, so...

here the oldest are, in all their middle school glory!

I was in luck, both boys were #5, so they were easy to keep track of on the other side of the field!

I don't know what exactly they call that move Dustin, but it was working for you!

I am including this picture of Dustin mostly to show you the ground. This is a secondary field, we had a rescheduled game on the same day that the high school was using the regular home field. So this field has been made overlapping a baseball field. Different seasons, so no problem, right? Well... it had rained a LOT the day before, and the gravel was quite muddy. I tell you this to paint the picture for what happened next. Brian was running down field, right through the mud, and happened to look down at just the wrong moment. His mouthguard dropped in the mud. Without hesitating, he scooped, grabbed it, and stuck it back in!

I didn't think too much about it, but the two teachers (one of whom has Brian in class) sitting beside me were all "OH, DID YOU SEE THAT!! HE NEVER EVEN HESITATED!!"

Well, that's Brian. A very "by the rule" kid, he knows you have to have the mouthguard to play. He was playing, he grabbed the mouthguard back and put it in. 'Nuff said!

Confession

2008-09-29T22:20:00.002-04:00

There's this really bad thing that happens in my life, every 4 to 6 weeks, that turns me absolutely insane. Nothing in the world is right, for anywhere from 4 to 8 days. I have been an absolute basket case for a week, finding it very difficult to hold things together. I burst into tears during a shower last Friday night, and when I was out of the bathroom I cried on my 12 year old's shoulder about missing my Granddad. Who died in 1997.

Yeah.

I was feeling quite hopeless, cause there was no apparent reason for my frustration. And then the bad thing happened. After only 3 weeks.

There may be hope for me yet. Stay tuned.

Oh, and like my new header? I owe it all to Robin, at http://www.pensieve.typepad.com/.

Thanks Robin! I needed the step by step direction! I hadn't read through your post, I just clicked on Wordle to find out what it was, then played around for a day before going back and seeing you had walked us through it. Thanks, it worked like a charm!

Very emotional post.

2008-09-18T09:24:00.003-04:00

This has been floating around in my head for a long time, it's time to get it out and I think this is the venue.

I am a good mom, despite the opinion of anonymous, http://betweenyoumeandthefencepost.blogspot.com/2008/07/in-hospital.html#comments to refresh your memories, or anyone else who cares to offer an opinion. I do not shield my children from all of the world, though I do protect them from situations where they might be maimed or killed. I love them, with all my heart, and while I don't think they are accurate in saying I'm the best mom in the whole world, I am of the opinion that I might be the best mom for them.

I've come to some new conclusions, however, after the events of the last week. I am only the good mom that I am for them, because I seek out the help of others. Oh, I don't hand things over to others until I have become totally confident that they are of the same intentions that I am, and I still micromanage, because really, they are MY kids. With Bill.

Back to my point. There is a scripture that I love. http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/3 will link to it. It reads in part: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

The Lord has given me great blessings. He has also given me a firm testimony. Because of this, he requires much of me. More than I alone could do.

Which is why he gave me people. Other people have been so instrumental in the life of my family, each one of us, that there is no way we would function as well as we do if it wasn't for them. And frankly, I need to take a moment to thank them.

There's the speech pathologist who taught me how to communicate with my son. There's the kindergarten teacher who taught me how to work the system for what my kids need. Understanding teachers who are open to communication, and able and willing to speak frankly with me, because I need it. Countless teachers at church have not only reinforced the gospel with my boys, but also called them at times during the week, and made them feel important. There's our doctor, who reels me in when I need it, and Christina, who is teaching me loads more than I ever knew about how my boys are thinking, and why, and how to help them. There's the firemen, who are so understanding and kind and really seem to like that my boys want to be around them. TBall coaches, Little League coaches, basketball coaches, soccer coaches, moms of their friends who offer them rides, and give them safe places to be. There's the Joy Nichols's, Kim Cooks, Scott Alberts, and Reading Recovery teachers of the world who were so willing and anxious to do anything to help. There are the grandparents and friends, especially best friends, both theirs and mine, who the kids look to as friends of their own. I was so grateful that when Michael was asked to list off the people who love him last night, Nicki and Melissa, and their families were all on the list. Even Savannah, because I'm sure she still loves him, too. The 4H leader who happens to be their uncle, but also the whole working steer community at the fairs, who love my boys and encourage them. The GT teacher who presents them with opportunities and stands back to see if they bite, giving a nudge if necessary. Blog friends who offer words of encouragement from time to time. We have a village, people. And it takes a village.

These people, all of whom are inspiring my kids, my husband, and me to be our best when we are with them, are a gift. They are gifts for a mom who has had to endure depression, stress levels to the point where I couldn't eat without pain when Michael was a baby, children with unique needs and perspectives, children with such high capacities that they need more knowledge given to them than I could ever manage. Pregnancies that did me in, and service that HAD to be rendered by me, because it was in His plan for us. Learning experiences that would have been too much to bear, except we had others to help us through it. And still do.

I am eternally grateful, grateful to these friends and helpers, and to my Heavenly Father for providing them, that we could face such amazing challenges, and benefit from the blessings therein. Yes, my children are seeing a counselor. She does not have to teach them that I love them, they know it. She is teaching them how to work through their feelings after a tragedy of epic proportion in their lives. When they break a leg, I will also take them to see a doctor, to have it put in a cast and get crutches to still walk. Their injuries are not visible, but still as painful. They are not caused by me, but by the cruelty of a difficult world, one where babies are murdered, and women abused, and where children die of cancer. I am so grateful to have Christina, because just as our doctor could bandage a wound, she can bandage a wounded heart.

Thank you to all our friends. We love you, and appreciate you. And as you have served us, I know that you have indeed served God himself. Never count yourself as unnecessary, you are truly important in our lives.

UPDATE

2008-09-10T20:54:00.002-04:00

Tracey commented she hoped the day turned out better....

It actually got worse, my second boy lost his shoes. The 2 players rode the bus back to the school, and the rest of us stopped by the house to leave off my husband's truck and ride together. I had him drop the elementary boy and I at that school, figured we'd get a head start, while he waited for the team to be dismissed at the Middle School.

I toured the entire school with Michael.

They never showed.

We finally walked to the Middle School. I greeted the principal in the foyer, and asked if he had seen my boys. We have small classes, Dustin's class at last count was 45. By that, I mean in his GRADE. So the principal knows each student well.

Anyway, he said he had seen them, and that Brian was in socks.

I ask several teachers, trying to narrow down where they went, but the one thing they all knew was my son had no shoes on. He's not supposed to wear cleats in the building, so this was not terribly alarming. Yet.

Michael and I chatted awhile with Brian's homeroom teacher, the wife of the Assistant Fire Chief. Remind me to tell you of the canvas painting of my husband in his uniform.

Anyway, we finally gave up, mind you, I had scanned the parking lots and NOT seen my car. We went outside to sit and wait. Side note: I was dumb and left my cell phone in the van. Or I could have called him.

He finally appears, with 3 boys in tow. Turns out he had gone to the school gym. And the soccer field where they had played. And finally our house, to get old shoes. I told him he should never, EVER go to all that trouble again. Brian could have done the open house in socks.

We're hoping they are on the bus, luckily it was THEIR bus they ride every day, so he should be able to ask easily enough.

BUT...

THEN my day got better. At night, we all have a family prayer, and then each of us hug and kiss goodnight. I don't make my boys kiss, but I DO make them hug. It has yielded VERY good results so far. Anyway, Zachary, the 3 yo, was the last to give me a hug. He gave me a big kiss, where his face is smushed on my cheek and he just waits before he smacks. Then, he wrapped his still-toddler-chubby arms around my neck, and he says, "I love you, Mommy... You da best mommy in da whole WOLD!!"

And don't you forget it, kid!!! ;-)

Woes of the Soccer Mom...

2008-09-10T07:45:00.003-04:00

Forgive me while I lament.

Yesterday was the first scheduled game for Middle School soccer. It was also sign ups for the youth league you play in before Middle School, and was conveniently to be held at the field where they were playing.

Or so I thought.

It rained. I mean it POURED yesterday. I went in to Walmart on a beautiful, pleasantly cloudy (no sun glare when driving) day, sure to be the remnant of the blasted-no-longer-hurricane we dealt with through the weekend, and as I was paying an hour (or ten, I lost count) later, a man walked by with a DRENCHED T-shirt. I mean WET. People commented and he said, "Yeah, it's POURING!"

And it continued to pour until 1 PM. Games were cancelled. End of story.

Uh. No.

Cancelled was the word the lovely school secretary used, no that was not sarcastic, I really do like her, she's very sweet.

It wasn't until I pulled out the schedule with my boys and commented, "So, I guess your first game of the season will be at Carrabec on Thursday, " that I heard, "No,m we're playing this one tomorrow, same time same place."

Oh.

Then I spent twenty minutes too long explaining to my second grader the difference between CANCELLED and POSTPONED.

Which is fine. I'm glad they will get to play.

NOT.

You see, we still had to sign up the younger one that day.

And then today? Today we are caring for a friend's 2 yo and bringing him home around 230, after the girl 5th grader I babysit before and after school gets here at 2:15, then be back for my elementary school boy to be dropped home at 3:10, scoot down the road 10 minutes for a 3:30 soccer game, return the middle schooler some time near 4:30 (half an hour early 'cuz her mom leaves work early on Wednesdays to take her to dance) get back to the games for the 5:00 start, when they are done run to the school (ten minutes back near home, we are lucky to live exactly 3 minutes from the school) for an elementary open house (6:00-7:00) and then hit the Middle school open house (6:30-7:30, don't you love how they don't COMPLETELY overlap?), and do you know where I will be come 8:00 PM?

The McDonald's drive-thru.

Yeah. Now excuse me, I need to ask Mother Google where the heck Carrabec is. And get directions on how to get there.

'Cuz I've heard of it, but never had cause to go there before.

No, I don't drink...

2008-09-08T09:07:00.003-04:00

Or anything like that. I just spent the last ten minutes defending how random my last blog post was. Like I might have been "on" something.

I HAD A HEADACHE!!!

Really, church was awful.

Well, I like church, but it was a really rough day emotionally. We had a testimony meeting, which is when instead of 3 speakers who have been asked to prepare a talk on an assigned subject, the floor is open to anyone who wants to share what they know about a gospel topic. ANY gospel topic. Usually, someone feels that there is an experience they recently had that helped to teach them, or reaffirm to them, a gospel principal.

One friend of mine shared how her home teacher came and rescued her when her SUV, pulling a trailer full of camping gear for a youth camp out, was deemed unsafe to drive with a bad tie rod end on her way to the camp. He was there, ready to drive a couple of hours, in less than 30 minutes, with no advance notice.

Talk about charity. And service.

"When ye are in the service of your fellow men, ye are only in the service of your God."

Someone else bore testimony of watching her toddler walk away from her a bit in the woods, it was a safe area for that to happen, and how he repeatedly looked to her to insure he was safe. It reminded her of how we need to regularly look up and make sure we are not too far from our Savior, and consequently our Heavenly Father.

That sort of thing makes up a testimony meeting.

Was I wrong to be sad that no one mentioned Savannah? Melissa and Brian weren't there, so obviously they didn't share anything regarding their grieving process. I didn't get up. I couldn't put my finger on anything particular to say, so I said nothing at all.

Then we sang the last song of that meeting, "I am a Child of God". It's one of very few that are in both the Children's Songbook, and the grown-ups hymnbook. Most every one in our faith can sing it without the book, and it happened to be one of Savannah's favorites, so we sung it often at the hospital.

I cried. I held Michael close to me and cried. Hard. Then Zachary came up and wanted a hug during the ending prayer, and I took the opportunity to leave the room with him, and I went and cried in a smaller room.

Eventually I pulled it together. LDS services consist of sacrament meeting, which was now over, then Sunday school, then Relief Society for women.

Our lesson on the first Sunday of the month is up to the Relief Society presidency to decide. Their topic? How to be a good friend.

Both of my best friends weren't there. But to my wonderful joy, another good friend, one who was there at the hospital with us those last days, was. She got me through it.

For your information, I also found the testimony I needed to share.

A good friend, a true friend, knows who you are, even when you forget. They remind you (when you are desperately looking to get your family out of survival mode) that you stopped telling your boys to LOVE each other. They remind you that your boys need to be reminded that love is a verb, a way to act, and they need to LOVE each other. Because that is what you have taught them all their lives.

An amazing thought that was in our lesson is to substitute in the scriptures the word friendship for charity.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Friendship suffereth long, and is kind; friendship envieth not; friendship vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Friendship never faileth

I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the friends that He has placed in my life, and for all that they have taught me, and the service they have rendered me. They are a treasured gift.

ps If you have any questions about the faith that I share with members of my church, feel free to check out www.mormon.org for more information. Or ask. That's ok too.

Oh, uh, hi...

2008-09-07T21:18:00.002-04:00

Haven't seen me in awhile, huh? Well, I got some new toys, that don't involve blogging.

Crazy talk, I know.

First, I got a new cell phone. It's an ipod, too. Which means I had to load it with music, which I still haven't fully sorted. Oh, and I downloaded tetris, so you know, that takes some of my time. I'm a bit addicted to it.

Then of course there's the start of school, which brings with it the start of soccer. My 2 oldest want to play middle school soccer this year, with almost every other fifth grader, so there were tryouts for the first time. On the plus side, they both made it. Or the down side, take your pick. They both stay at school an extra hour and a half, and with the steers still here to tend to it fills up our lives.

Dustin is taking Algebra 1 this year. It's putting him on a track for college courses his senior year. It also means an hour of homework for just math every night. He's very excited about it, and really wants it to work out. I believe he would say it is the number one priority as far as his responsibilities he's taken on.

Then there's Lego League. Both Brian and Dustin are doing it. It's starting as only once a week, in the evenings. So that day they will be home for all of 2 1/2 hours before they need to be back at school, and then when they come home it's bedtime. That 2 1/2 hours needs to accommodate homework, chores, and dinner. It's the first year I have ever really felt like I allowed my kids to be over-scheduled. We'll see how it goes.

My thoughts have been we'll have one difficult month, then the steers go up the road. Around the same time soccer will end. I would have discouraged the soccer, but Dustin's friends all play (except one, he's got a serious football dad) and he really was looking forward to it, even since last year.

On the plus side, Lego League will for sure also end in December, no chances to go to worlds this year, Maine isn't invited. If you could see me, I'm doing the little happy dance!

Oh yeah, and in other news, do I look different to you? That's because I am blogging from my brand new laptop that I bought so that I won't completely lose my marbles. So far, I still seem to be losing some, so the plan may backfire. The soccer "Play Day" almost did me in. It was this past Saturday, and required the kids to be there by 8, and from 9 til 4 pm they had 25 minute long games scheduled every half hour. 2 going at a time, and field hockey was doing something too. Yeah. It was hideous. Oh, and did I mention that Bill wasn't there? Or my mom? So it was me and the 4 kids. 2 of whom were bored stiff, and 2 of whom were exhausted. I'm learning more and more how exhausted = cranky!! And when I took out my camera to take pictures, my batteries died after trying to take 2 of the little boys playing on the monkey bars. *sigh*

Well, I'm going to leave you with that. I have a splitting headache, church made me cry today and that always leaves me with a headache. My husband is using my hairdryer to try to dry the steel toe work boots he left out in the rain last night. 4 inches of rain. From a hurricane leftover. The only steel toes he owns, and he has to wear them in the morning to go to work. I'd laugh, but it's just one more reminder of where our kids get all their disorganization from... THEIR PARENTS!!!!